By Beau Smith
Me, Me, And More Me
Since I started doin’ this column I’ve been hit with a bunch of letters and Con questions about my lurid comic book past. Folks wantin’ to know just what it is that I do in this business. (And why somebody hasn’t thrown me out yet.) So I’ll give ya a little capsule on the things I do. Besides, aint nothin’ better than writin’ and talkin’ about myself and havin’ somebody pay me to do it. What a scam!
- Former Vice President of Sales and Marketing for Eclipse Comic
- Former Vice President of Sales and Marketing for Image Comics
- Former Vice President of Marketing and Promotions for Todd McFarlane Productions and McFarlane Toys
- Current Vice President of Sales and Marketing for IDW Publishing.
Creative: Writer and cover designer:
Credits: Past-Angela Special-Image. The Berzerkers-Image. The Black Terror-Eclipse Comics Boof-Image. Boof And The Bruise Crew-Image. Guy Gardner:Warrior-DC Comics. Parts Unknown-Eclipse. Beau LaDuke-Real Man (Scout) -Eclipse. Shadowhawks Of Legend-Image. Showcase Comics-DC Comics. The Dogs Of Danger (Swords Of Texas)-Eclipse Comics. Good Girl Art Quarterly-Americomics. Batman/Wildcat Mini-Series-DC Comics. Spawn Bible-Image Comics. Spawn/Fan Comic-Image Comics and Gemstone. Aliens-Dark Horse. Parts Unknown-Knight Press. Ronna-Knight press. Wynonna Earp-Image and The Tenth-Image Comics.
Present: Wynonna Earp-IDW Publishing, Maximo-Dreamwave, Maximo: Army Of Zin Video Game-Capcom, Sketch Magazine, and Busted Knuckles for Silver Bullet Comics.
It’s easy to find some of my past work. Just look in the four for a dollar box of your local comic shop.
As you can see I’m gettin’ my cake and eatin’ it too. I’ve got this industry surrounded. Business, creative, and opinion column. P.T.Barnum and Ned Buntline got nothin’ on me. I am the king of shameless self-promotion and I wear my crown proudly. I not only get to write my stories, I get to push them to the retailers and then promote em’ in my own column. Conflicts of interest? Maybe, but who cares when the interest is me!! Life shouldn’t be this good! But it is and I’ll take it.
Now I’m not sayin’ that I don’t deserve it. No, sir! I’ve had more than my share of crummy jobs with bosses that didn’t appreciate my “special” brand of work ethic. Their loss was my gain. They just didn’t understand the true genius behind my three hour lunches and my endless talks about my favorite subject…. me! (Notice how much I use “I” and “me”. True secrets to success, amigos.)
I know what you’re thinkin’. Big ego. Conceit. Self important. Narssictic.
Nope. I just say out loud what everybody else is really thinkin’ and aint got the intestinal fortitude to admit. Come on, you know you like yourself better than anyone else–admit it and step up to the plate. I’ve always found that if you’re secure with likin’ yourself it’ll make ya treat other folks that aren’t you a whole lot better. Ya see, everybody wins.
People are all the time tellin’ me – “Beau, you so full of yourself!” I smile and thank em’. Bein’ full of me is the best health food in the world–in my not so humble opinion.
All I’m askin’ ya to do is to be more like me and like yourself. That’s not askin’ much.
For eight long years I toiled tryin’ to get into this business. It finally paid off. This is my 17th year in comics. You’d think that someone would’ve caught on to me by now. It’ll be hard to get rid of my big corn-fed butt now. I’m like a big ol’ tick that has dug in good and tight. I’ve got enough nasty behind the scenes tales of sleaze and sorry stories to blackmail the whole industry, and that’s not even countin’ the revealin’photos!
That’s that just the tip of the Beauburg. Trust me, you don’t wanna go any deeper. So as you finish up this tale of self-importance and feel the urge to wretch, just remember–if ya can’t bring yourself as a date, then the party aint worth goin’ to.
Keep America BEAUtiful.
The Flying Fist Ranch
P.O. Box 706
Ceredo, WV. 25507
Prove your manhood by visiting Beau at the Flying Fists Forum!