After nearly a week I finally got my Compaq back from the shop. It was nursed to health by the chubby Italian hands of an auto-mechanic who just so happens to tinker with computers. Not only did chubby-hand guy heal my machine, he made it better. A few days ago I had 128 MB of memory. Now my think box is cranked up to 512. You probably won?t notice my enhanced abilities, but I sure as hell will.

The only downside to this medicinal upgrade is that I was cut off from the comics world for over a week. So I only dug up a few things yesterday..

Ink and Dagger

Last week on his message board, Marvel EIC Joe Quesada said he?s been asked to draw a pinup for Mark Millar’s Top Cow series Wanted. But da Q?s contribution was conditional. ?I agreed at which point Millar said that he couldn’t wait to ink it. Now, I had heard rumors that Mark use to be a penciler so I kind of got attached to the idea of seeing him ink my pencils,? Quesada wrote. ?Mark immediately backed out but I have now refused to do the pinup unless he inks. He says he will but I think he thinks I’m joking and I’ll beg him not to do it at the last minute. Well, he’s in for something else altogether. So, here’s what I need you all to do, I need you all to start harassing Millar about inking my pinup, call him a wimp, a chicken, I don’t care, he just better ink the darn thing. Let’s see the girlie writer put up or shut up.?

Millar soon responded to the Burly Q?s call out on his Millarworld website. ?Baby, I’m TWICE the artist that Bendis guy is. I’ll ink this and make Joe Q look better than he’s ever looked before. Game on!?

After reading this I couldn?t help but wonder whether Millar agreed to the Q challenge just to show he wasn?t a tea sippin? pansy, or did he actually have confidence in his artistic skills. So I asked him. ?Joe heard me bragging how good I was and called me out. Never done anything besides sketches for myself. All will be revealed!!?

This Has A ?Stay in the Lines? Factor of Nine Out of Ten

Static Free?

A while ago I reported that writer Geoff Johns was interested in making former Milestone character and current TV show hero, Static, a member of the Teen Titans. Geoff told me the deal was being negotiated with Static creator Dwayne McDuffie, who expressed concern over creative control of the character at his website, At the time it seemed like there wasn?t much headway being made in the negotiations.

But now there may be hope. Over on Dwayne posted this message for Geoff, ?Lost your e-mail. I’ve got news about that thing. Please e-mail me when you get a chance..?

I was curious, so I asked Geoff if there was indeed some new life in this deal. But unfortunately he tells me there?s ?nothing yet.?

This Has A ?Cling-on? Factor of Six Out of Ten

Extraordinary Gentleman

A few days ago posted an article saying comics master Alan Moore was distancing himself from the new Hellblazer movie, Constantine, after he reviewed the script and cast for the film. ?He’s washed his hand of the entire debacle. That’s right- he’s instructed DC to NOT credit him as the creator of the character. And putting his money where his mouth is, he has instructed that the royalties that he was splitting with his co-creators goes EXCLUSIVELY to the artists, Veitch and Bissette.

Often we hear about an artist upset that his creation has been butchered but this is the first I can recall where the creator asked that both name and money be rejected. Moore is apparently so upset at the desecration done to Constantine by Producer Lauren Shuler Donner that he is stating that he will never support a film project based on his work again. DC Toady Paul Levitz is running around trying to get Moore to change his position, but Levitz is the one who had 30,000 copies of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen #5 pulped. The bad PR this move could create in the geek community is of grave concern to Warners and DC.?

Interesting, right? Sandman author Neil Gaiman thinks so too. Unfortunately he says the report is also untrue. At his weblog Gaiman debunked the news, writing:

      Oh, it’s true that Alan’s rejected the money for


      and assigned it to his co-creators, but he’s now done that for all films of his and things he’s done that might one day be filmed. This was because he was deeply hurt and offended and irritated by being

accused in the Larry Cohen lawsuit of having written The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen as some kind of studio shill

    and because Alan never does anything by halves. Up until the lawsuit his position was that he didn’t care about the films people made from his work, but was happy to cash the cheques; after, he decided that he didn’t even want to cash the cheques.

His share of Constantine was redistributed among his co-creators, John Totleben, Steve Bissette and Rick Veitch and to Jamie Delano and John Ridgway.

As far as I know, from having spoken to him, Alan’s view on Constantine itself is the same as his view on From Hell and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, which is that he’ll probably rent the DVD one day, you never know, hell might freeze over, — and that the important work is the comic — the main difference being here that the film is, from what I understand, mostly based on the Garth Ennis and Jamie Delano issues of the Hellblazer comic.

(And, for whatever remains of the record, Alan hasn’t seen anything of Constantine — no scripts, no nothing. Nor has he had any contact with DC on it except for asking Karen Berger to redistribute the money and the credit.)

Gaiman also gave his opinion about the casting of Constantine, saying that the filmmakers ?started with two strikes against them, simply by casting Keanu Reeves? but that he will see the movie in the theatre.

This Has A ?Moore Than A Feeling? Factor of Eight Out of Ten

Guard Duty

I hear Alpha Flight writer Scott Lobdell has pitched a new series to Marvel based on the Shi?ar Imperial Guard. I don?t know anything more than that at this point.

This Has A ?Can?t Get the Imperial March Out of My Head? Factor of Four Out of Ten

Almond Joy

The former Black Panther art team of Sal Velluto and Bob Almond is reuniting on a six-issue Captain Gravity series from Penny-Farthing Press. Originally Bob was teamed up with another penciller who had drawn much of the first issue, but he is no longer on the project. Sal will be re-drawing the completed pages. Joshua Dysart of Violent Messiahs fame will be writing the series, which will debut this summer.

I was a huge fan of Black Panther so it?s nice to see Sal and Bob back together. They never seemed to get there due when BP was on the stands.

Speaking of Black Panther, go to Bob?s website and you can check out pages from the series that were corrected or re-drawn, along with descriptions. Pretty interesting to see what Marvel decided to cut. Below are some examples of pages considered too graphic. They were toned down before they saw print.

This Has A ?Bad Kitty? Factor of Seven Out of Ten

Gather the Hurd

Over on, A Sort of Homecoming scribe Damon Hurd has organized a support fund for Mayor Jason West of New Paltz, NY. The mayor was performing same-sex marriages after couples were turned away by the Town Clerk who refused to issue the necessary marriage licenses to them. ?Mayor West felt that denying these citizens licenses based on one?s own feelings regarding homosexuality was a clear violation of both our state and federal constitutions, so he officiated the marriages anyway at great personal risk to himself,? hurd wrote. ?Mayor West has been indicted with 19 counts of misdemeanor charges for violating state law. Each count carries a $500 fine and he may also be facing jail time exceeding a year. Mayor West is undeterred by this and after entering a resounding plea of Not Guilty last night he intends to perform more same-sex marriages this weekend despite the mounting legal challenges against him from both from the State of New York and from various groups and organizations desiring that these unions be prevented at any cost.?

In my opinion this is fucking ridiculous. I?m embarrassed that my home state is going after West for well, making people happy. This is the land of freedom?

I know some of you will object to me running this in Rage. I?ll get emails saying, ?This has no business being in a comic book column.? But I don?t care. Most Americans have become complacent. We roll with whatever government punches come and we don?t really do anything to effect change.

This Mayor West guy is willing to stick his neck under the guillotine for people he doesn?t even know, simply because he believes in equal rights. Don?t let him do it alone. Help Damon raise some cash for this poor, unselfish bastard. Go to and make a donation. And if you need more incentive, Damon is sending anyone who donates $5 or more a copy of his Eisner Award-nominated comic book, My Uncle Jeff. It?s a fantastic read and definitely worth your five bones if the ?fight for equal rights? thing doesn?t sway you.

This Has A ?Stay of Execution? Factor of Ten Out of Ten


PS If anyone has any rumors, stories or news to share email me at or IM me via AOL Instant Messenger. My screen name is Automatic San. Thanks to everyone who has been sending stuff in. It’s greatly appreciated.

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