This week’s mini-Rage written by SBC’s main man, Jason Brice. Markisan is moving and decided that was enough work.
For the internet faithful, Ragemites everywhere, and my girlfriend, we’ve come to a sad chapter in the life of All The Rage – a skip week. A regular occurrence for readers of DC Comics during the 90s, a skip week happened when there were five Wednesdays in a month, and DC didn’t feel like shipping any comics ‘cos they’d have to rearrange their four week schedules.
DC then decided a good way to increase sales was to engineer special “events” to slot into those weeks. Born out of this was Tangent, Last Laugh, The Kingdom, All Stars, and …uhhh lots of other exciting and memorable comics. Admittedly, some “events” were better than others, but many fans wished DC had just not wasted the trees and used the week to give their wallets a rest a buy a big box of chocolates and flowers for their loved ones.
So, in the interest of better and stronger relationships for comics fans and their husbands, wives, girlfriends and boyfriends, I suggest you use the fifteen minutes you’d normally spend reading All The Rage making your “significant other” some cookies, and generally pampering them. I do this in the interest of comic book creators everywhere, too… not only are they saved from the biting satire of ATR for one week, if you are extra nice to you “S.O.” you might get laid. Which would lead to some geek pregnancies, then a baby-boom in nine-months or so, and then a bulge in the comic book buying population starting about five years from now.
Fifteen minutes, the average time a reader spends perusing All The Rage (so I’m told), is more than enough time to make a chocolate frappacino, get your gear off and then get pregnant. You now have your mission for this Sunday… go forth and procreate. Your local comic shop guy will love you for it.
Next Week: TWICE THE RAGE – if getting you laid wasn’t enough, I’ll return next week with a heapin’ helpin’, double sized, mega-packed All The Rage. Highlights may include:
- An Art Scandal
- Ubermensch = Superman?
- Weston Ho!
- X-Rated Birthday Suits
- AND MORE…
And since we tricked you into reading this week’s ATR, why don’t you go on and click one of the banners and buttons scattered hereabouts for our wonderful, illustrious, generous, and sexy sponsors, Dynamic Forces. Their Daily Special today is called “Marvel’s Five Star Package,” and although I haven’t seen anyone at Marvel’s “package” recently, I do know DF’s contains: Uncanny X-Men #325 signed by Tom DeSanto and Stan Lee, Daredevil: Ninja #1 DFE Chrome Cover, Giant Sized X-Men #1 Marvel Collectibles, Amazing Spider-Man Giant Sized Annual #21, The Incredible Hulk #181 Wizard Ace Edition for just $69.99, a saving of $150.00!
Also, don’t forget to write in if you have any rumors. Write to me at: firstname.lastname@example.org, and I’ll assured you as much or as little anonymity as you’d desire. Remember, at All The Rage it’s all about giving you guys what want! See you next week..