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Home
Big Two
DC Comics

Crisis #11 Tie-ins: Everybody Gets Laid!

Kyle Garret
September 1, 2015
DC Comics, The Full Run

The penultimate month!  Except not really, as there will be crossover issues even after Crisis is over!  DC is just wacky that way.

All-Star Squardon #54

God bless you, Roy Thomas, and your love of obscure DC characters.  While this is another issue bogged down under the weight of the ridiculous Monster Society story, we also get a glimpse of what Firebrand is up to, which involves teaming up with a load of characters from throughout history.  Gunslingers? Check. Knights? Check. Revolutionary War heroes? Check. Oh, and a pirate, of course.  And his son.

This is Thomas at his best, writing about characters that no one really cares about, but whose simple existence is entertaining on its own.  And he sticks them in Florida, which is great.  But then he sends them to fight some of those gosh darn Indians, the godless savages, and you cringe and wonder why couldn’t just use Nazis like he usually does.

Mike Clarke and Arvell Jones handle the pencils, while Alfredo Alcala and Vince Colleta handle the heavy, heavy inking.

Amethyst_Vol_2_Issue_13Amethyst, Princess of Gem World #13

Here’s a wild card, eh?  We saw in All-Star Squardon (at some point) that Dr. Fate disappeared; he ended up n Gem World, which has got to be an 80s hair metal song, right?  It just has to be.

This issue is a big deal if you’re a regular reader of Amethyst, but I am not, so it’s not nearly as dramatic as it’s intended to be.

This is basically the secret origin of Amethyst and it is, as most pre-Crisis origins were concerned, kind of messed up.  See, there was a Lord of Order watching over Gem World and he fell in love with Amethyst’s mom.  So he did what any horrible being would do, he possessed Amethyst’s dad and made with the rape, which is what you call it when a someone has sex with someone else without their consent (she willingly had sex with her husband; this was not her husband).

Anyway, no Lord or Order had ever assumed a physical form, let alone had sex with a human, let alone knocked said human up, but it happened this one time, and Amethyst was born, unknowingly the child of a Lord of Order.

After dumping all this information on Amethyst, Dr. Fate proceeds to dump her at the Temple of the Ancient Ones which, judging by her reaction, is a messed up thing to do.  Oh, and she’s blind.  Real nice, Dr. Fate.  Real nice.

Keith Giffen plotted, Robert Loring Fleming scripted, Ernie Colon penciled, and Karl Kesel inked this big revelations issue.

Infinity_Inc_Vol_1_23Infinity, Inc. #23

Jade and Brainwave, Jr. have sex.

There’s some stuff about the crazy world Northwind is from and a glacier that’s going to destroy them all and Solomon Grundy shows up and Jade tries to get him to help her stop the glacier and they fail, but that’s not really the main plot point of this issue.  Infinity, Inc. is a comic about the younger generation, and as such an fair amount of emphasis is placed on romantic entanglements.  I’m not even entirely sure if Northwind’s homeland survives the end of Crisis, so it’s destruction could ultimately be meaningless.

As for Crisis connections, the opening scene is one we already saw in Crisis, this time drawn by Todd McFarlane (pencils the first 5 pages) and Steve Montano.  Montano is joined by Tony DeZuniga on inks and Mike Harris pencils the rest of the book, written by Roy and Dann Thomas.

WW329Wonder Woman #329

Gerry Conway and Don Heck bring the first volume of Wonder Woman to a close with an issue that is almost entirely dedicated to WW getting laid.  Oh, sure, there’s a big battle involving Amazons and Greek gods and some connections to Crisis, but Wonder Woman makes it very clear to Steve Trevor early on that she wants to do the deed as soon as they can.  It’s a little disconcerting, to be honest, that the grand finale of 329 issues of Wonder Woman’s life is getting married and losing her V card.

It is interesting, though, that her main foe in this issue is Ares, the god of war, given her role in the current DCU.

Crisis on Infinite EarthsDC ComcsThe Full Run: Crisis on Infinite Earths

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About The Author

Kyle Garret

EIC of Comics Bulletin, author of "I Pray Hardest When I'm Being Shot At," contributor to "Best New Writing 2014" and "Joss Whedon: Complete Companion," shopper of multiple YA books

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One Response

  1. danielelkin September 2, 2015

    Thus proving once and for all that everything involved with Crisis was fucked.

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