Shit got real crazy in Westeros this week, with a brutal coup over in Qarth and Theon upping his douchebag game with some conveniently unidentifiable corpses. Meanwhile, Cersei and Sansa had a little heart to heart about the birds and the bees and Jamie briefly escaped before bringing on the wrath of Cat, all as Arya continues to play her own cat and mouse game with Tywin.
Paul Brian McCoy's Brew of Choice for the Evening:
Once again Theon Greyjoy provides the inspiration for the Brew of Choice: Harpoon Brewery's Leviathan – Quad. Fermented with a blend of two traditional Trappist yeasts, the Quad has a rich texture and pours a mahogany color with a light tan head. But the Leviathan has a nasty streak and if you don't respect its 11.75% ABV you may end up beaten in the dirt or a charred body hanging from a length of rope. The Quad has something to prove and can be a little ugly about it. You have been warned.
Game of Thrones Episode 2.07- "A Man Without Honor"
Nick Hanover: So is every episode for the rest of this season going to involve major murders?
Dylan Garsee: Hodor is next.
Then the two hookers.
Then one of Craster daughters.
You know, all of the main characters.
Sidenote: I love that Hodor is basically a human Pokemon and that this episode gave us more opportunities to watch him use his name as every part of speech.
Dylan: I wonder what notes the director gives the actor that plays Hodor…
Nick: "HODOR. Hodor hodor. HODOR."
Dylan: "You did great on that take, but can you Hodor with just a little more passion?"
Nick: I like to imagine he is a method actor, and he walks around set only responding with Hodor.
Dylan: The only actor who could Hodor more than Hodor is obviously Daniel Day-Lewis.
Nick: He was great in There Will Be Hodor.
Dylan: The Ballad of Hodor and Hodor.
Nick: My Left Hodor.
Dylan: Now as much as I would like to Hodor the rest of this review, what direction did your hate for Theon take with this episode?
Nick: Since Theon was the focus, I guess we may as well go into all of his douchery. I'm honestly kind of split on my Theon hate, because on one hand…he's a fucking douche. But on the other, it's clear that he's in way over his head and is just piloting a snowball as it makes its way down a mountain and joins an avalanche. Theon clearly doesn't have long to go before he's sleazed his way out of the picture entirely, and as despicable as his wheel spinning has become, I feel kind of bad for him.
Dylan: I don't think he realized his mistakes fully until the end of the episode. As he was looking for Bran and Rickon in the beginning, he knew exactly what he was doing.
Nick: Theon's main problem is that he is far too easily swayed by those around him, and specifically their attention. Theon craves any and all attention and he's willing to debase himself in order to get it. And that's exactly what we're seeing here– a desperate man child eager for approval who will go to horrible lengths in order to achieve that. Granted, he's not the only one with this problem in this show, but few are as defined by it as he is.
Dylan: Theon's number one goal right now is to get Winterfell afraid of him, yet everything he's doing seems to be backfiring almost hilariously. Why there hasn't been a full on Winterfell revolt against Theon and his men is beyond me.
Nick: My guess is that they're waiting for Theon to really fuck up, so they can sever their ties to him, get out of Winterfell with their loot, and leave him to the wolves, as it were.
Or they're biding their time until his sister shows up.
Dylan: Whatever it maybe, I can't wait to see his demise. It has to come up, no one survives this series.
Nick: Except Hodor.
The other disaster waiting to happen unfurled over in Qarth, as Daeny dealt with the fallout of that dragonnapping. And I will admit I was honestly a little surprised by the way that played out.
Dylan: Quarth, the greatest that ever was or will be, grew very violent over the course of the series.
Nick: I thought for sure that storyline was going to drag on until the end of the season and maybe we'd get little nuggets of information here and there, but hot damn did it get nasty real quick.
Dylan: I've given up on tr
ying to compare the book and the series, but I'm liking the way the Quarth storyline is playing out.
Pyat Pree x 10 assassinating the 13 was shocking, and violent, my favorite combination ever.
Besides smashing and banging.
Nick: That aspect of the season is now what I might be most looking forward to. Qarth is a genuinely unstable place and I feel like we've barely explored it; I get the sense that Daeny may be stuck there for longer than she suspects.
Dylan: Even though I know the Quarth plot is heavily deviating from the book, I really hope that they nail the House of the Undying scene.
I am going to miss the Spice King though.
Nick: At least he died before his face could erupt into boils.
Nick: What did you make of the growing distance between Jorah and Daeny?
Dylan: I think that she cares about Jorah, but with so much on her plate, something has to crack, and that seems to be her relationship with Ser Jorah.
She doesn't want to hear anything but "yes" right now.
Nick: I'm worried that she won't heed his advice until it's too late. Or maybe it's already too late, as they're heading off for whatever horrible things are in the House of the Undying.
Speaking of advice, how creepy was that Sansa/Cersei birds and bees sit-down?
Dylan: I think it's Cersei's eyebrows
Nick: How is it that Sansa hasn't just killed everybody and then herself yet? Is the season going to end with her igniting that Wildfire?
Dylan: I LOVE JOFFREY SO MUCH. THAT'S WHY EVERYTHING MUST BUUUUUUUURN.
Nick: That would actually be the best season finale ever.
Meanwhile, Arya is off getting a very Lannister education with good ol' Tywin. How is it that all the men in the Lannister clan get the charisma, while Cersei and honorary Lannister femme fatale Joffrey are black holes of humanity?
Even Cersei admits Joffrey is a little shit now.
Dylan: I feel bad because I love Cersei. Not because of something that happens in the future or anything like that. I just love her making me squirm with her delicious evilness. Everything she says drips with classy sass with just the hint of intimidation and fear. Lena Heady's monologue toward the end of the episode was marvelous, and really stole the scene away from the normally infallible Peter Dinklage, who more or less sat there for three minutes.
Nick: I enjoy Lena Heady's performance and Cersei is certainly more sympathetic than Joffrey, but I can't say I'd be sorry if she met a very Marie Antoinette demise. Tywin on the other hand is someone I am sympathizing with more and more. He's very practical and it's clear that he doesn't do things out of cruelty, like Joffrey does, but because he feels it's the most rational course of action. His scenes with Arya, which I understand are completely invented for the show, have become some of my favorite moments each episode and this week was no different. They also mirrored the tension between Cat and Jamie, though in that case he was riling her up not to get intel, as Arya does with Tywin, but to get her to drop her guard and give him an opening for escape.
Dylan: The scenes between Arya and Tywin scare me so much every week.
Nick: Scare you because of how it will ultimately have to play out? Or because of the tension surrounding Tywin's attempts to discern Arya's real identity?
Dylan: Scare me because of the tension. I know what happens, and I have nothing to be afraid of, mostly because the books have removed what little humanity I had left.
Nick: The other tension we witnessed this week was of the sexual variety, as Ygritte did her best to seduce Jon Snow and break in his husband bulge.
Dylan: My husband bulge was very husbandy this week because SHE SAID IT!
"You know nothing, Jon Snow."
The Jon storyline finally starts to get good, and of course it's when they take the focus off of Jon
Nick: I would have been happy to watch Ygritte taunt Jon for several weeks instead of what we witnessed. For once Jon seemed alive, even though he maintained his normal mopey facade. And of course Ygritte got the drop on him, luring him into an ambush that we all knew was coming but which was exciting anyway.
Dylan: I'm excited to see where this goes next week, and considering there are only three more episodes, things are about to get intense!
Nick: I think it'd be a welcome improvement if Jon joined up with the freemen. He could stand to get liberated.
Dylan: And finally he would be interesting!
Nick: Ygritte could do better, though. I suggest myself.
Call me, Ygritte. I know something.
Dylan: Please, I'll take Ygritte.
Nick: You wouldn't know what to do with Ygritte.
Dylan: She was on both Game of Thrones AND Downton Abbey.
Nick: I'm just going to go ahead and spoil this for you: she doesn't have a penis.
Dylan: We don't have time to argue semantics.
Nick: So what are we giving this episode?
Dylan: I'm going to say a , because of the action, as well as two of my most favorite characters finally met, which is the beginning of something absolutely magical.
Nick: I'm going with a as well, mostly because Jon Snow is finally developing and I'm expecting that storyline to only get more exciting. This season is ramping up for something explosive, I can feel it.
Dylan: You know something, Jon Snow.
Dylan Garsee is a freelance writer/bingo enthusiast currently living in Austin, TX. He is studying sociology, and when he's not winning trivia nights at pork-themed restaurants, writing a collection of essays on the gay perspective in geek culture. An avid record collector, Dylan can mostly be seen at Waterloo Records, holding that one God Speed You! Black Emperor record he can't afford and crying. You can follow him on twitter @garseed.
When he's not writing about the cape and spandex set and functioning as the Co-Managing Editor of Comics Bulletin, Nick Hanover is a book, film and music critic for Spectrum Culture and has contributed to No Tofu Magazine, Performer Magazine, Port City Lights and various other international publications. By which he means Canadian rags you have no reason to know anything about. He also translates for "Partytime" Lukash's Panel Panopticon and you can follow him on twitter @Nick_Hanover