No longer content to merely review Game of Thrones through the use of cumbersome blocks of text, John Bender and Ryan Usher have moved on to the internet airwaves, commandeering the Paranoid Video podcast feed for their own spoiler-y purposes.
SPOILERS FOLLOW. THIS CANNOT BE OVERSTATED. DO NOT LISTEN IF YOU HAVEN'T READ ALL OF THE BOOKS.
Well, we find ourselves at the end of the third season. Over the last ten episodes, we saw a lot of tyte action (Sam the Slayer, the Beric-Hound cage match, many smoldering Arya staredowns), we saw some genuinely shocking moments (the REDACTED Wedding, the sex-leech-dick-fire sequence, Rickon chaining five sentences together) and we saw some super wack bullshit that disappointed everyone ("the climb," Podrick Dickhammer Payne, all Gilly scenes). This Maester's Edition episode mostly covers the last episode of the season, "Mhysa," which gives us occasion to discuss the show's problem with female characters, the disappointing choice to exclude ColdREDACTED from this season and the clumsy shoehorning of "Reek" into Theon's interminable torture subplot. Then, after giving our final grades for the season, we doff our maesters' chains and retire to our laptops to spend the offseason poking through every last nook of A Wiki of Ice and Fire.
Thanks for listening, and we hope to be back next season!
Listen at the player thingie below, or click here to download.
As always, shout out to Anamanaguchi for providing the theme song.
John Bender is a Twitter anarchist with questionable opinions about celebrity lifestyles and the Lost finale. He edits erotic novels by day and works tirelessly by night to improve upon his personal record of 42.00 in the Mecha Marathon minigame in Mario Party 2. He also plays in Fitness.
Ryan Usher is a philosopher and quasi cognitive psychologist pursuing a questionable career in law; when he's not fantasizing about becoming a vaudeville performer or honing his incredibly deficient drawing and musical skills, you can find him spouting radical left viewpoints on Twitter: @RyanGUsher.