The Panel gathers movers and shakers from across the industry together to answer your questions!
Don’t miss out on your chance ask the big guns a question or two, send them in now to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Most of the Panellists should be known to you but if not, don’t panic I’ve got a few details on them at the end of the column.
This week’s question comes from Big Stu (who is a budding Brain and wants to “do what we do every night Pinky, try to take over the world”). The question is: “If you ruled the world for the day what would you do to change it?”
Gary Spencer Millidge: “I’d make comic reading a compulsory part of the school curriculum, of course. Oh, and destroy all weapons and ban all organised religion. Or something”.
Devin Grayson: “I’m gonna pass on this question. I’ve got a million ideas for bettering the world, of course, but I just don’t think comic book writers have or should have high enough celebrity status for people to care about what we think about issues other than that which pertains to comics. Thanks!”
Lee Dawson: “Well, besides ending world hunger and all that good stuff I would make the following happen: Alan Moore would take over writing Batman for a year, and then do a year of Star Wars Empire with Alex Ross drawing both. Mike Mignola would begin a five- year run on a monthly Hellboy series. Frank Miller would do a twelve issue Sin City arc. James Robinson would start up Starman again. Planetary would come out monthly. DC Archive editions would all be ten dollars each. DC Direct action figures would all be five dollars each. Episode III would right all the wrongs. Peter Jackson would make The Hobbit. The Simpsons figures would stop coming out because they are incredible and I have to buy them all. Paul Westerberg would re-form The Replacements. Axl Rose would stop calling his current band Guns and Roses and join up with the actual former members. The Family Guy would go back into production. The Office would be on every night and not be remade in America. The Batman Animated series would come out in full season sets on DVD. Ditto on Seinfeld. And lastly, Katie Holmes would marry me and Britney Spears would be my mistress….I think all that would be a pretty good start!”
Craig Lemon: “This is a difficult one, because almost anything you decree would be reversed the next day, so I’ve been looking for something that could be achieved in one day and make a big difference to the world. This is it. I would arrange for everyone over the age of 55 to be killed, thus solving world poverty, pension shortfalls, the housing crisis, world hunger, and most of the world’s political troubles there would be more food for many less people at a stroke. And I would make sure that I had a Swiss bank account set up, in my name, with one billion pounds in it.”
Alan Grant: “On a macro level, I’d follow Anarky’s philosophies. I’d rescind all laws in every country, and replace them with only two new, global laws:
- No person or group may use violence against any other person or group, except in self-defence.
- No person or group may use deceit against any other person or group, except in self-defence.
At a stroke, these laws would put all politicians, the majority of lawyers and academics, most religious nuts, and a large number of journalists in jail. As virtually everything wrong with the world can be traced back to politicians (or religion) mankind would experience an immediate enlightenment as people realised that they have to think for themselves.
On a micro level, I’d make sure The Three Stooges appeared on TV daily.
And on a personal level, I’d blow up all the subsidised wind turbines disfiguring the Scottish countryside.”
Terry Moore: “Oh, I’m so glad you asked. Declare everywhere on the planet one country with one name, one people, with hundreds of regions and individual cultures, then pool everybody’s excess resources (financial, human, tech and monetary) and pour it all into the impoverished areas of the globes, like the entire continents of Africa and South America. I mean, we’re talking about 7 trillion dollars in the U.S. mutual funds market alone – all that goes into the world fund. We could make these places paradise with healthy people inside of one generation. Eliminate all prisons, put habitual or psycho killers on an island like they did Australia (and look how they turned out, pretty good!), and if they form a post-apocalyptic army to come invade the nice people, we nuke ’em. By the way, all TV executives and movie producers would be put on that island as well. Cease all military funding immediately and use the money for medical research, health care and 3-story comic book shops in every city. Turn all military equipment into framing for free housing and building structures for the jobless. Change education criteria to include the arts and music and ethics, instead of just so much bogus history and business. Outlaw SUV’s and any car that does less than 35 mpg. Neuter every rapist. Immediately put to death any and every convicted child molester on the planet, no island for them– priests will be killed twice. Outlaw lobbyists. Govern through a diverse board of representatives from every major culture, with zero profit boards running all the rebuilding programs. Eliminate any power that any religious organizations may have (religion should be either private or above such things as politics)- take all the money and priceless jewelleries from organizations like the Catholic Church (billions and billions of dollars!) and pour it into the World Relief Fund (to hell with gold crosses and silk robes- feed a child and give him a life with a future!), and last but not least…. make underwear optional. Day Two… we go after news media. Bring gas masks for this one.”
Fiona Avery: “What makes you think I don’t already rule the world? I mean, would you know, would you? Okay, right, if I really ruled the world, I’d never let it get this out of hand. I would institute a fully paid, five o’clock tea break in all countries without it. Could we use it, or what? (Incidentally, I would wear a hat to my coronation ceremony so that hats would come back into style.) I would pass a law where every corporate meeting had to take place out-of-doors and possibly over a rousing game of cricket. (On really hot days, you have the option of water polo.) Also all workers get to have a fully paid recess again just like in third grade. I’d also make it mandatory that all countries not practicing Europe’s three-months of vacation do so immediately. I’d lower travel rates and institute full-size chairs in all airplanes and I’d require the whole world to celebrate Japan’s Respect for the Aged day. Oh and lastly, I’d send Bush a “Wish You Were Here” postcard from the White House (one of my many stopping points to administrate around the world) addressed to him in exile at his Texas Ranch.”
Vince Moore: “Well, as a Nichiren Buddhist and Soka Gakkai International member, I would like to think I wouldn’t want to rule the world. Yeah, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want to rule the world. But if I could have the ear of those who do run the world for that day, I would really try to get them to understand that humanity only has this one world at this point in time. That as a people, we should try to better understand each other. We don’t have to agree totally or anything like that. The variety in human cultures is so fascinating to me that I wouldn’t want mini versions of American cultures everywhere, like we are seeing today. I would point out that we have more than enough resources to take care of the basic needs of everyone on the planet and then some. That fostering dialogue and interaction is far better than war or economic conquest. I sound like the tail end of Alan Moore’s Miracleman, don’t I? But that’s what I would do in this situation.”
Dawn & Alan Donald: “Well let me see now mmmm….. first I would make sure that I ruled the world for more than one day, haven’t quite worked out how but I’m sure it can be done! Next I would remove Bush the Warmonger from office. Then I would put all the world’s leaders in a big room, give them rations matching those of a famine-hit country, and tell them they are staying there until they sort out their differences; then they can go back to govern their countries fairly, and respect and share with other countries. Which should effectively stop famine and wars. Once that has been sorted I would start on pollution, get everyone recycling, ban gas guzzling cars, bring in renewable energy and that’s just for starters…Alan?”
“Yeah, ok…getting rid of the illiterate Hanging Judge would be a great start…other than that, geez can’t think of too much as important as that, oh, wait…the Royals, I’d fling them out on their ear, dump ’em on an inner city council estate with minimal benefits to live on, no…better than that let them live on a refugee’s income and see how far that will get them! I’d get a solar panel on every roof of every house in the world, ban the use of fossil fuels (we need ’em for plastics and medicine) move all cars onto dry-cell Hydrogen (which produces…you got it, H2O!), increase the use of windmills where the locals approve of them etc, the usual stuff, world peace and global happiness…and best wishes for every other Miss World contestant too, Bob…I don’t bloody know, what the hell has this got to do with comics, leave me alone I’m off to bed!”
“Well I think we all went for world peace et al, what a wonderful bunch we are. Bush seems to be out on his ass with bells on. The world’s pollution problems have been solved. Gosh, we are brilliant. Oh and a few of us want to play with comics! Except our erstwhile editor who seems to want to wipe out half the population, he’s definitely evil. Stay away from him or make sure you go armed with garlic or a cross if you really do have to talk to him. Just a warning……”
We welcome another new member to our wonderful panel this week: ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Ms Fiona Avery who plays in the Marvel Universe and with Wildstorm at DC, and is also the creator of No Honor. Gary Spencer Millidge has been self-publishing his acclaimed Strangehaven comic book series for eight years. Terry Moore is the creator of Strangers in Paradise – ’nuff said. Alan Grant has had his hands in many pies including Batman and Judge Anderson. Vince Moore’s work for Platinum Studios can be checked out via the link on his name above. Lee Dawson is the publicist at Dark Horse making sure you are aware of their fine product. Craig Lemon is our lovely editor and is trying for a football team… and Devin Grayson is currently scribing Nightwing and has just had a prestige format Batman book called Switch released.
Next week’s question: “Can superheroes really help at times of great need e.g. superheroes in print during WW2, the Vietnam war and more recently 9/11?”