The San Diego Comic Con has just closed down for another year. I didn’t make it out there this year? (that’s not rain, it’s the tears of women on the west-coast you hear.) I hope to make out there next year so that I can make sure that side of the country doesn’t fall off into the sea. Coastlines seem to do that when I’m not around.

So this week I’m gonna take it easy on most of you and let you catch your breath from the con. Lord knows the internet news sites haven’t given you a break. For the last week you’ve known every time Dan DiDio and Joe Quesada have cut wind and why. You’ve heard movie people call comic book readers geeks all year then show up with their movie dog and pony act and all of a sudden it’s cool to read comics. I’m sure you’ve been mainlining Visine from all the photos of goofballs dressed up in costumes.

Is there no end?

Nope.

So this week I’m just gonna hit you with a series of quick jabs, counter punches and low blows of things you might wanna know about?or not. And before you get all worked up, NO. It doesn’t mean I’m gonna fill you in on a bunch of gossip and stuff. I leave that to the guys that care more than I do.


She-Hulk Hits The Slott

As I’ve mentioned before, Marvel Comics’ She-Hulk is one of the best comics being written right now. Like Gail Simone, writer Dan Slott adds just the right amount of natural humor to make this book fun without being silly, action packed without being a series of stock haymakers and most of all it’s really enjoyable. Paul Smith‘s art proves why his art is the steak and not the sizzle. Great story telling and you’re never confused or distracted by pin ups and goofy layouts. Colorist Juan Bobillo does a wonderful job. Nice colors and there isn’t that usual murky look that most Marvel books have. Whoever says there can’t be humor in a super hero book should read this one to see how it’s done right.


“Todd, Why Can’t I Quit You?”

It was live at San Diego Con. There’s a video on Youtube.com . It’s everywhere. Now it’s here. You’ve been pummeled with reports of Robert Kirkman and Todd McFarlane renacting Brokeback Mountan during McFarlane’s panel where he makes you think he’s channeling Bill Murray‘s character-Carl Spackler from the movie Caddyshack. Someone swears they heard Kirkman utter, “Todd, why can’t I quit you?” during their little panel party. If you’ve seen the video or were there then you got to hear Todd stutter like a school girl and her first time being asked to dance. Some say this was for real, others say it was staged. I worked for Todd for close to 6 years? I know? but I ain’t telling. Why? ‘Cause if ya think really hard about this? who really cares? Come on, Kirkman? I quit Todd. So can you!


Yippi Ki Yi Yay Mother?

Marvel Comics had a cattle drive and I wasn’t invited. Marvel Comics had a barroom brawl and no one asked me to smash the first bottle. Marvel Comics had a lynching and I was left without a rope. I’m talking about the release of their Mighty Marvel Westerns Featuring Two-Gun Kid and Western Legends. My amigo and Cobb artist, Eduardo Barreto was there drawing Two-Gun Kid, but where was my chance to slap leather?


If manly feelings could be hurt mine would be. They had one of my all-time favorite Marvel characters-Red Wolf? with someone else doing the writing. It just ain’t native American of em’!

I bought both issues. I’ve looked at the pretty pictures, but I just can’t bring myself to read em’ yet. That’s $8.00 I could have bought a case of really cheap beer with. I might need that case after I read em’. Who Knows? Red Wolf brought back and without me. What’s next? Skull The Slayer? Bloodstone? The Masters Of Evil? Night Nurse?

New York City. That’s gotta be the answer. Who thinks of New York City when ya think of cowboys?

I’m sure Marvel will say that I could’ve pitched em’ something when I’m tying their ass to the back of my tractor about to plow my fertilizer patch with their Sex And The City ways. That’d work except some how they slipped this cattle call behind my back and I knew nothing of it. Is it because my last name doesn’t end with a vowel? Is it the way I used to part my hair when I had more of it? If I cried I’d be doing it in my beer right now. But I don’t cry. So there’s a picture you’ll never have in your scrapbook.

Next thing you know they’ll be telling me that there’s a new Guy Gardner series and I aint writing it? what’s that you say? Awwwwwwww? Chaykin?? See!! I told ya it was a New York thing!


Ten Manly Marvel Bad Guys

The Juggernaut (As Stan says?’Nuff Said!)

The Absorbing Man (Bald, Bitter and a Butt Kicker)

Batroc (The only real man France ever had)

Paste Pot Pete (I refuse to call him The Trapster)

Attuma (He’s angry and he likes it that way.)

Rhino (Crush first never ask questions.)

Sandman (He’ll smother you with badness)

The Scorpion (The tail swingin’ psycho)

Taskmaster (Like the good guys only, smarter, meaner and gets a check)

Wrecker and The Wrecking Crew (The original Thug Life)


Michael Turner-Amigo

Thoughts, best wishes and prayers go out to Michael Turner as he fights the manly fight. The rest of us should be as strong.


Tucci For Hire

Marvel Comics show they are the house of ideas and of equal opportunity as they have hired the nearly famous and always infamous Italian, Billy Tucci to pencil the new hot mini-series, Heroes For Hire. The creator of Shi shows that not only is he a master of Kung Fu, but he knows how to submit to strong women. This series will put Billy on the mainstream map and make Marvel money as well. Billy’s been taking orders from women all his life.


Color Me Bad? The Bad One

My first DC Comics work was Green Lantern Corps. Quarterly #8 back in 1994. It was a manly story about one of the very first Green Lanterns, Probert The Bad One. This was a tale of when the Guardians were still trying to figure out just who should get the rings and who shouldn’t. In this story I show that they didn’t always get it right.

While going through my files the other day I found not only the issue, but the color guides that were given to me by the colorist on the story, Matt Webb. Matt is a great guy and very talented. I was real pleased with the job he did coloring this issue over artist and my long time amigo, Enrique Villagran. I thought I’d share a page of the story with you along with the same page that Matt did as a color guide. One of those interesting behind the scenes things you don’t see today. See? Busted Knuckles can be educational as well as entertaining.



Three DCU Heroes /Comics I Want A Crack At

B’Wana Beast (The world needs a politically incorrect Super Hero)

Bomba The Jungle Boy (Those 7 issues were much better than anyone has ever given them credit for. There are still more stories to be told?Manly stories.

Star Spangled War Stories (What a HUGE no brainer. Army men and dinosaurs! I could bring the best dinosaurs and adventure artists in comics to this. Oh the manly tales I could tell?)


Paperbackreader.com Gets Rough As A Cobb

Sayeed Islam of Paperbackreader.com has done a review of Cobb: Off The Leash #1 and #2 for their website. It’s one I feel I should share with all of you. After all, issue #3 comes out next month and you finally get to see where all this action is gonna take you. Who dies? Will the racist Russian gangster join forces with the terrorists to get what he wants? Who is The Cossack and what does his past have to do with Cobb? With Molly captured will she be a damsel in distress or more dangerous than a woman with your paycheck? Cobb: Off The Leash #1 through #3 is 48 hours of thrilling action. That 24 more hours than what Jack Bauer gives you.

http://www.paperbackreader.com/review.php?ReviewID=1524


What Happens In San Diego? Gets Blogged All Over The Internet

A lot of links to blogs, audio, video, and such have been sent to me of folks talking about their drink fests, parties and brain cell killing attempts to pass out first. Somewhere along the line some wires were crossed. Real men don’t blog about their after hours recreation. That’s what Frat-Boys do. Real men throw their booze back, sweet talk the ladies and bust bottles over the heads of morons without rushing back to their hotel room to plaster their “adventures” all over the web to other guys that are high huffing mylar bags.

Legends don’t grow from stuff like this. It’s only gossip that gets bigger and bigger as the words waddle their way across the internet. Then again?.I remember my first beer.


Busted Knuckles Babe Of The Week

Navi Rawat
-actress

Before some of you start sending me emails reminding me that I’ve already featured Navi Rawat as a Busted Knuckles Babe of The Week, hear me out? I don’t care.

Some women are so wonderful they’re worth repeating. Navi Rawat is one of em’. She’s tall, exotic (Indian/German) and has a super sexy husky voice. She’s done her share of TV and films, but her best is yet to come. You may have seen her on TV weekly on the show Numb3rs. It turned out to be a show I caught by chance and ended up watching every one. That means a lot in my case because I flunked math every year from 7th grade through 11th grade. They loved me in summer school. Navi will soon be in the upcoming horror/comedy/western called Wanted: Undead Or Alive in 2007. Rumor has it there are drunk zombies in it. Main thing is that Navi Rawat is in it. Good enough for me.


Busted Knuckles Manly Cover Of The Week

Bobby Benson’s Bar-B-Bar Riders #14
1952

I hear folks today asking for more all ages comics. Well, I agree with em’. I’d like to see a wider range of genres for everyone. Back in 1952 this comic was sold on the newsstands to kids every where. It was considered for all ages. After all it had bondage, chopped off heads with eyelids sewn shut, and a little kid about to whup ass on a hunchback trying to do some very sick things to the damsel in distress. And that’s just what’s on the cover. Inside there is all this and more. In the Ghost Rider story kids get to see an Indian get an old fashioned arrow through the chest with enough detail to put a night light into overtime.

Being the twisted child that I was, I would have loved to have this comic as a kid. Today somebody would be putting the cuffs on a retailer for selling this to little Johnny.

I gotta talk to somebody about bringing Bobby Benson back as a comic. Can you imagine how great the video game of this would be?


The Round Up

Last week I let the guys at Silver Bullet Comics off easy with my short column. This week they pay. This one is clocking in at a little under 2,000 words. It’s the kinda stuff that keeps Jason Brice of SBC up all night. Time to man up, Jason. Quit your whining and get this column up on time. [Editor’s Note: Ooooops!]

Thanks goes out to all of you that wrote in about last week’s column on stereotyping within the comic book creator community. I appreciate your thoughts. I also wanna thank the pros that wrote in with their stories of the behind the scenes stuff that they have experienced.

Most of you know that my official website is http://www.flyingfistranch.com. Well, it still is and gets bigger every day. Recently I also added a MySpace.com site to my name because friends begged me to. If you wanna check it out just go to http://www.myspace.com/beausmithranch. That is if you can’t get enough of me here and at my main website.

I’m every where.

Your amigo,

Beau Smith
The Flying Fist Ranch
P.O. Box 706
Ceredo, WV. 25507
http://www.flyingfistranch.com


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About The Author

Beau Smith

Beau Smith is a writer for Comics Bulletin