By Beau Smith
This is somethin’ I’ve been meanin’ to do ever since I started writin’ Busted Knuckles. What’s that ,you ask?
Printin’ and answerin’ some of the cards, emails and letters that I get here at The Flying Fist Ranch. Letters I get from those of you that read Busted Knuckles every week. Well, now is the time and I figure I’ll share some of these with the rest of ya.
Without any further lingerin’ here we go.
When my boyfriend, Josh first told me about reading your Busted Knuckles column I wrote you off as some redneck cave man that had one too many beers on poker night. Every week Josh would spout off things that you had written? mostly about beer and women of loose virtues. I must say it got to the point where it was getting on my nerves.
Then Josh had me read a few of your columns.
I changed my mind somewhat.
Granted you are a man’s man. I understand that a little better now. But after reading a few of your columns I came to realize that you are also a father, a husband and a family man. A few of your columns on family and growing up had me near tears. It appears that there are more sides to you than I thought.
A few of your columns had me laughing out loud. You have a twisted sense of humor and I enjoyed that. Now I see why Josh thinks you’re so funny.
So I take back all those snide remarks I made to Josh. One thing I won’t do is send you a photo of me in a bikini. Josh keeps trying to get me to do it. Not gonna happen, Cowboy.
Thank you for your time.
Grants Pass, Or.
First off I gotta thank you and Josh for takin’ the time to read Busted Knuckles. I really appreciate it and I’m glad that ya found some stuff you can use.
I’m happy that some of my columns could stir your emotions. I mean that in a good way. Josh sounds like a real stand up kinda guy.
You are right. I am a family guy, husband and father. But as you also said, I’m a man’s man.
So send us the shot of you in the bikini.
I was always a big fan of your run on Guy Gardner: Warrior. I thought the series really had balls when you were writing it. I wish you were still writing it. Hell, I just wish there was still a Guy Gardner book out!
Is there any way you can strong arm DC Comics into letting you get back on the book?
Your friend in Arizona,
Thanks for the high fives on my Guy Gardner: Warrior work. I had a fun two year run on the book and I’m glad you enjoyed it.
It doesn’t look like me writin’ Guy Gardner: Warrior is in the cards right now. I think DC has some plans for Guy and everybody should be hearin’ about it soon. Here’s the good news, with the Green Lantern Rebirth series startin’ this fall you’ll get to see what good friend Geoff Johns has planned not only for Guy , but a lot of your other former favorite Green ring slingers. I can’t say anymore, but you will love it. I promise.
My girlfriend broke up with me to date some preppy little sissy boy. What should I do?
Down but not out.
Dear Down But Not Out,
Do this? start datin’ her sister and then go out on her with the sissy’s boy’s mom.
It works every time.
I’m of age, so what’s the best beer in the world?
A free one.
I’ve got a mean left jab, but what else should I work on?
New York, N.Y.
Work on your right cross and then follow it up with a left hook. Remember, two body shots then go for the head.
I read your Busted Knuckles on bullies and it really hit home with me. When I was in school there was a bully that couldn’t get enough of hurting me. I was his favorite punching bag for a long time.
Then my dad suggested I take a martial arts course here in town. I did. I have been a student of it ever since. Funny thing is I never had to use any of what I learned on that bully. Just hearing that I was taking the classes scared him off. I never had a problem with him again.
Thanks for your story. It meant a lot to me.
Good to hear YOUR story, amigo. It sure sounds like your dad knew what he was talkin’ about. Sometimes ya don’t have to throw a bunch to win the fight.
My girlfriends and I just got back from Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. We took a photo of us on the beach just for you. We are going to send it and others to you as soon as we get the film done. I hope you like our sand sculpture we made just for you. Please put the photo up on your website. We want to out shine all those other girls on there.
I’m all for it. Please send the photo and I’ll make sure that it goes up on my site. Too bad ya didn’t have a digital camera with ya.
Dear Beau Smith,
Nothing would thrill me more than to see you throw down on every British writer that is stealing work from hard living, hard drinking and hard fighting American writers.
The Brits pervert our comics and drink warm beer. How low can you get?
I even heard that British writer, Paul Jenkins, even married one of our women!!
That kind of stuff has got to stop!
Your amigo in the battle,
Thanks for your letter of passion, Louie. I know your heart is in the right place. You’ll be happy to hear that my latest research has come up with a great statistic? there are 15% less British writers in comics than there was a year ago. That’s great news!
I figure they heard I didn’t want em’ around so they cut bait and ran?just like they did when we ran outta the 13 original colonies many years ago.
I also gotta tell ya that I’ve known Paul Jenkins for many years. Just do ya know, Paul turned his back on the United Kingdom a long time ago. He’s a Red Coat that is now a Turn Coat.
Keep fightin’ the fight,
Those are just a few of the letters that I get from the Beau Nation. I’ve gotta admit?I may not have as many fans as Brian Michael Bendis or Neil Gaiman, but at least my fans are hardcore real men and beautiful babes.
Please take the time to write me with any questions you may have on being a real man or any of that other kinda stuff. I can’t promise your letter will get posted here at Busted Knuckles, but it will get answered. By me no less.
So keep sendin’ in those letters and jpegs. I appreciate all of em and look forward to more.
I aint hard to find.
The Flying Fist Ranch
P.O. Box 706
Ceredo, WV. 25507
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