As many of you regular Knuckleheads know, I am not one that favors the ways of the extreme politically correct world. The ways of the Extreme PC world are just as bad and destructive as those of the extreme politically incorrect world. Too much or either is a bad thing.
I favor common sense and strong parenting.
My parents were great believers in common sense and they taught it to me and by brothers and sisters pretty good. None of us ended up as serial killers or on wanted posters in the post office. At least not yet.
I tried to do the same with my boys. They’ve all grown up to do pretty good and to be honest, they didn’t do half the terrible things I did. So I’m pleased and proud of em’.
My youngest son, Nick was born in 1983. I have to say that the early 80s were a terrible time for Saturday morning cartoons. When he got old enough and started paying attention to them I found that the TV landscape was littered with unmanly cartoons that had more sweetness than a box of Trix cereal with a side order of glazed doughnuts.
There were The Smurfs, (more subversive crap from the French) My Little Pony, Care Bears, Teddy Ruxpin, (More evil than Chucky) and other cartoons that almost make me throw up to mention their names.
Hanna-Barbera Characters By Alex Ross
Now I realize that some of you younger Knuckleheads grew up watching G.I. Joe, He-Man and Transformers. They were better than the cuddly stuff that I mentioned above, but they weren’t close to being truly manly. The cartoons I’m gonna school ya on today would never have those G.I. Joe “After School Special” moments to tell you how to be nice to your neighbor. He-Man always let Skeletor go and what was with that annoying Orko? Same to be said about Thundercats. Same story as He-Man. It was like watching westerns where the good guy always shoots the fun out of the bad guy’s hand. They also had those little “Hallmark” moments telling you to brush your teeth and don’t spit on the sidwalk. Don’t let your innocence of childhood cloud your mind, these were not manly cartoons. They were the closest thing you had, but they weren’t close enough.
I decided right then that Nick was gonna be exposed to some manly cartoons that wouldn’t have him out huggin’ trees or carrying a sign that said “Free Willie”. So I gathered up a bunch of VHS tapes full of the good stuff. The stuff I grew up on. If being a parent is being a role model then I was gonna be at the front of the line.
The Cast Of Jonny Quest
I wanted him to watch cartoons that not only dealt with good vs, evil, but showed how to do it in a manly fashion and carved a clear path to keeping bad guys from committing that crime twice.
Here are a few of the essential manly cartoons that were loaded into my old VCR:
Jonny Quest: The original Jonny Quest, not that sugar coated-sissy CGI stuff that came out later. This was the Jonny Quest that ran from 1964 to 65. This show had everything a young boy could relate to, explosions, machine guns, laser beams, karate chops, evil foreign guys running and screaming for their lives as Race Bannon (Jonny Quest’s bodyguard) threw all kinds of hurt at em’. It was nothing to see Jonny Quest clobber a bad guy over the head with board (With a nail in it) or even rapid fire a grease gun at em’. That was my dream as a 12year old kid, to fire a machine gun at international spies and monsters.
Jonny’s best friend Hadji was no slouch either. He always had some tricks in that turban he wore. He could charm snakes and wasn’t above instructing an elephant to crush the bad guys while they were still in their getaway car.
Jonny’s dog Bandit was always getting them into messes, but when the chips were down you could depend on him to bite the bad guy on the ass and make him howl. Dr. Quest didn’t do much of the fighting with his fists, but he was always there to build the laser beam or bomb that Race needed to even the odds against an evil army of way too many bad guys. Plus he was the envy of all evil mad scientists that tried to over throw the world.
The original Jonny Quest was one of the greatest cartoons ever. It had it all, death, destruction, real mystery, intrigue, science, kids being part of it without being too much of the center of attention, and good animation. Some of the episodes were absolute classics: the Yeti, the German WWI ace in the Andes, the big ugly creature on the ship, werewolves, and Dr. Syn’s robotic spider.
Race Bannon At His bad Guy Fighting Best
From a kid’s point of view, the story lines were great and easily the most exciting thing for any kid to watch. Jonny was a kid who got to travel around the world and kick bad guys’ asses. What little kid wouldn’t love that?
The original cartoon with Race, Dr. Quest and Hadji was a huge dose honesty shunned by today’s P.C. world. When the WWI fighter, complete with monocle and scar on face, crashed into the side of the mountain in a flaming heap, Race looked Jonny square in the eye and said “That’s a horrible way to die Jonny, but he deserved it”. Race didn’t hold back any punches and I’ll bet he cussed like a sailor off camera. Race was the ultimate John Wayne, James Bond and Kenneth Tobey all rolled into one man.
Two scenes stood out in the series and would never make it onto any kind of children’s programming today, or in the future. The first was when CIA agent and Dr. Quest protector Race Bannon is in Hong Kong to meet a contact to pump them for some information. The contact is a hot Chinese babe who invites him back to her private boat to discuss the info he needs. Cut to the Jonny/Hadji/Bandit storyline for a scene. Cut to the Dr. Quest for a moment. Go to commercial. When we come back, Race’s “informant” is standing near him wearing a robe while he is sitting on the corner of her bed putting his boots on. He thanks her for the information and leaves. Even at a young age I knew that Race had just “pumped “her for all the info he needed to get the job done. Jonny couldn’t have a better role model and neither could I.
Race Bannon Model Sheet
The next classic scene was when Race’s plane goes down over the jungle and they all have to parachute out. When they land on the jungle floor and are trying to gather themselves up, a pissed off panther finds them. Bandit starts barking, the Panther growls ready to attack and Race yells to everyone not to move. Race raises his rifle, fires off a shot, and the Panther slumps to the ground, apparently dead. When Jonny starts to walk toward the panther Race yells. “Wait! He may not be dead yet.” Then he puts another round into the panther, which kinda shudders again, bleeds, then dies. Can any of you name another cartoon that kills off a pissed off endangered animal and doesn’tend up with PETA on their back trying to get the show axed ? The cool 60’s jazz like score to the show was great, and the opening credits were wonderful. Without a doubt, Race Bannon is a Testosterone God!
If they ever decide to do a movie or grown up Jonny Quest adventure I sure hope he has all the manly ways of Race Bannon and the brains of Dr. Quest. Throw the PC book out the window and take off the dress. It’s time to man up!
Another Hanna-Barbrea manly cartoon that I added to Nick’s must see list was The Herculoids. There was the family of Zandor, a great testosterone ass kicking warrior, his hottie wife and damsel in distress, Tarra, their son, Dorno and then there were their animal/creature posse The Herculoids. Igoo the giant Rock Ape, Gloop and Gleep the shape changing glob creatures, Tundro the rhino like creature that shot explosive fire balls from his horn, Zok the flying dragon like creature that fired laser beams from his eyes and tail. They were incredible.
Each of the creatures stood out from the other pets/sidekick/creatures from other cartoons. They were mean and ya never wanted to get them pissed off. The writers and animators showed this with the characters. Seeing one episode of The Herculoids and you knew you did not wanna ever mess with them.
Zandor ran such a tight ship that he even had son Dorno call him and his mom by their first names. There’s respect for ya.
One of my favorite scenes that sums up the attitude of the whole show and the manly era was when Zandor and the Herculoids just finished fighting off and crushing a huge army of flying robots, and I mean thousands of them, the crushed parts of the robots littered the huge country side of the planet as far as the eye could see. Dorno looks up to Zandor and says ” What do we do with all these robots, Zandor?” Zandor looks out over the mess of ruined metal and replies ” Let nature claim them. They will be a warning to all others that seek to invade our planet.” That was a great “up yours” to every recyclin’, green peace lovin’, tree squeezin’, global warmin’, wimp that ever wanted to throw himself in front of a baby seal.
The Herculoids Cast Shot
Other manly Hanna-Barbera cartoons that I would suggest are;
Space Ghost (The original series) Much like The Herculoids, Space Ghost took no prisoners, at least not without busting them up pretty good first. In one episode a really nasty bad guy met his death in a terrible atom smashing way at the hands of Space Ghost. Jayce, one of Space Ghost‘s kid sidekicks, asked if that was the right thing to do. Space Ghost places his hand on Jayce’s shoulder and says “He got what he deserved. Now, have you done that homework yet?” Yeah, I’d say that was motivation to study harder.
Shazzan: In 1967 this giant genie made the 60s cartoon scene (Again,Hanna-Barbera) with his kid sidekicks Chuck, Nancy and the flying goofy camel Kaboobie. Chuck and Nancy would always get in over their heads with some Arab bad guys or magic masters. They each had rings that fit together and would summons Shazzan the giant genie. The reason this cartoon was so good was because Shazzan never lost or even came close to losing. Granted, there wasn’t much suspense in that, but that’s not why you watched it. You watched it to see just how bad Shazzan would humiliate and pummel the screaming bad guy with the funny accent.
Shazzan had a voice like Sean Connery. He laughed all the time as he beat the ass of the bad guy. Shazzan was one sadistic son of a bitch that truly enjoyed terrorizing the bad guy. He usually drug the ass whuppin’ out too. He either left the bad guy dead or put him in such a horrifying situation that the bad begged to be killed. It was some sick stuff when ya really think about it , but I loved it.
Frankenstein Jr. Much like Shazzan only a little nicer. This is a good prelim for younger kids before you expose em’ to Shazzan the laughing back hand of desert justice. Although if you really pay close attention you’ll see that even Frankenstein Jr. could get a little sadistic as well.. His kid sidekick was a real brat that really egged Frankie Jr. to put the big hurt on bad guys.
Birdman: Much like Space Ghost in the fact that he was not to be messed with. Only weakness was not getting enough solar rays made him weak. Even without the power bands, Space Ghost was nobody’s bitch. Birdman was a grim , non nonsense guy. His sidekick the eagle/falcon was one nasty bird. It would just as soon sink its talons into ya as look at ya. Bad guys were nothing but cheap birdseed to him.
The Fantastic Four. The Hanna Barbera version was the best. Bad guys got punished and The THING was a scream. Great character stuff here.
The Galaxy Trio. More space ass-kicking with no remorse. They even had the great Ted Cassidy (Lurch) doing one of the voices.
Dino Boy. Dino Boy and Ugh the Caveman had great adventures with wonderful monsters and dinosaurs. Ugh was a real silent strong kinda father figure for Dino Boy. There was a lot of bad guy death in this cartoon.
Without a doubt, Hanna-Barbera cornered the market on testosterone heroes in cartoons. This is the same studio that gave us great kid stuff like The Jetsons, The Flintstones, Huckleberry Hound, Atom Ant, The Impossibles, Magilla Gorilla and so many more. You can’t go wrong with showing your kid a Hanna-Barbera cartoon from the 60s. My son Nick thanks me all the time and we still sit now and then and watch em’. He’s 22 years old now and has most of em’ on tape or DVD.
Nick is a fine upstanding young man that I’m very proud of. I thank all the folks at Hanna Barbrea for their helping making him the fine young man he is today. I’m pretty sure that one day when he has kids that he is gonna dust off those Hanna-Barbera DVDs and tapes and raise his kids right.
Go and find some of these great cartoons and share em’ with your kid. If ya don’t have any kids then watch em’ yourself. You’ll be a better man for it. For you women it’ll help you understand a real man better and appreciate him.
Busted Knuckles Manly Comic Book Cover Of The Week
Cowgirl Romances #5
Published by Love Romances Publishing Company/Fiction House 1951
Who said that every damsel in distress had to have the hero save her? In the early 50s Cowgirl Romances showed that even though a gal could find herself being carried off by some sex crazed outlaw, she was still capable of getting herself out of a tight jam and even saving the the hero at times.
This fine cover proves just that as the Cowgirl babe not only pulls the bad guys hair out by the roots, but she spoils his aim as he tries and shoots the hero. She shows that there is more to a tight skirt and high heeled boots than meets the eye. Gotta love those spurs.
John Stark, Curt Langdon, Cliff Hanson, and Kim Bartley wrote most of these great adventures of strong women in the west. A surprise for the times was that they did write strong women. Most of these stories had gals like Joan Bently, Jane-The Spitfire Of The West and Lone Star Lou defeating outlaw gangs and evil cattle barons all by themselves with either fancy gun play or most of the time very smart detective work. The art in the books were always top notch and ahead of the time.
One of the best scenes in the comic was where The Spitfire of The West tossed a cow pie in the face of the bad guy. Now that’s using your imagination.
I highly recommend you looking for any issue of Cowgirl Romances in the back issue bins. Great covers and better stories than you would imagine.
I might also add that Chuck Dixon has taken it upon himself to challenge me with his own “Manly Covers” over on his website. If ya get a chance and feel like laughing at Chuck and his choices click on http://www.dixonverse.com. Tell him Beau sent ya.
The Ultimate Guide To The DC Universe
This week I was sent a copy of The Brent Clark Rogers Guide To The DC Universe 6th Edition 2005.
This 5 1/2 inches by 8 1/2 inch book is as thick as my fist. Over 715 pages of what I think has to be the ultimate guide to the DC Universe of characters. I was amazed to look through this and find every character in the DCU that I had ever heard of and more.
This book not only gives you the debut issue listings of every character, but it also lists them by occupation, teams and more. If you’re looking for a character that is a musician, attorney, mercenary, TV News person, or whatever, it is here.
It list them A through Z as well as teams, groups, planets, Extraterrestrial races, and a DCU Bibliography. Brent is already at work on next year’s edition that include all the stuff that is happening with Infinite Crisis as well as new information from the Silver and Golden age.
This massive B&W book sells for $40.00 and is worth every cent in my opinion. I know as a writer this is filled with an incredible amount of info that I need when pitching and writing any DC character.
The cover is done by Scott Rosema that most of you will know from his work on such books as X-Men Adventures, Tiny Toons, and Space Ghost. Please pardon the scuff marks on the cover of my book here. The mailman was not gentle with the package.
Tell him Beau sent ya.
Busted Knuckles Babe Of The Week
There’s something about a woman of action that just makes me melt like a hard stick of butter in a hot biscuit. Last week we had the leggy stunt woman and actress Danielle Burgio, this week we spotlight another queen of action, Alisa Hensley.
She is one of the best stuntwomen in Hollywood and is trained in just about every kinda dangerous situation there is. You’ve seen her work in such movies as: Aeon Flux, Transporter 2, Mr. And Mrs. Smith, Spider-Man 2, Charlie’s Angels Full Throttle, Planet of The Apes and much more.
She is tall, blonde and I think could be THE Wynonna Earp if there is ever a Movie or TV show. If you get the chance check out her action reel at http://www.v10stunts.com/alisa_hensley_resume.htm. It’s well worth your time if your computer has the ability to watch video stuff. It’s got three different sizes you can watch it on. Trust me, if my computer can view it then anyone’s can. You’ll also be able to check out Alisa’s resume from all her work.
This blonde beauty is a great choice for this week’s Busted Knuckle Babe Of The Week!
Go West, Real Man, Go West
When it comes to the old west I know my stuff. No brag, just fact. I’ve got a western writer I want y’all to check out if ya can. His name is Peter Brandvold. He’s written a ton of stuff and it’s all good. Best part is it’s always manly and written with heart.
Peter is a mix of Louis L’Amour with the grit and authenticity of films like Lonesome Dove and Open Range. His dialogue has the same hard hitting impact of his characters. There’s that feeling that if you read about a place in one of Peter’s books then you can figure he’s walked there.
My personal favorite of Pete’s is Rogue Lawman. If you like your revenge stories brutal and hard then this is also for you. There’s nothing more scary than a pissed off lawman on your trail. It’s a hard-bitten story about a man with nothing to lose because it’s already been taken from him.
Check out everything bout Pete at his very nice website. It’s as manly as my own and I think you’ll thank me. As always, tell em’ Beau sent ya. See: http://www.peterbrandvold.com
Hellbent and Flint Henry Bound
While I’m busy throwin’ y’all recommendations, (after all, it is the Christmas Gift season) I’ve got another item that will thrill that artist, aspiring artist, horror fan, and anyone that enjoys incredible detailed art with a innovative slant to it.
I’m talking about Hellbent: The Art Of Flint Henry Volume One from SQP. This is a 65 page B&W art book of some of Flint Henry‘s best horror art.
This is not for art fans of weak and squimish persuasion. This is a perfect book for those that enjoy EC Horror, Rob Zombie, Steve Niles, and Clive Barker. With a dark wit and a sinister sense of the macabre, Flint’s designs pull you into a world of pure terror. This book is also not for a young audience. There is nudity and graphic scenes of mayhem and violence. If horror can be beautiful then this is it. It also sports a wonderful intro by Chuck Dixon who has worked with Flint on loads of comics such as Lawdog, Iron Ghost, and Batman.
Flint is known for his work at Marvel Comics, DC Comics, Image Comics, and McFarlane Toys as well as Grimjack. His current work is the cover artist and design artist on Iron Ghost from Image Comics. His art graces the very screen you’re looking at from time to time from his work he has done for me here at Busted Knuckles. Don’t just think that Flint is “just” a horror artist. He can do most anything from sweet animation, super-heroes, real man action and fantasy. He is an artist with no limits.
The book sells for $9.95 and you can order it from SQP at http://www.sqpinc.com Tell em’ Beau sent ya.
The Last Manly Word
Well there’s a storm brewing outside and I still have to take the dogs out on patrol. I hope you’ve enjoyed this week’s episode of Busted Knuckles. I try my best to inform and entertain. Check the Busted Knuckles archives and see what you’ve missed.
I wanna thank all of you that have sent comics, books and art for me to review and throw my manly gaze on. As always I will get to em’ and post up my thoughts here for all to read.
I really wanna thank all of you young ladies that write in and give me your thoughts on what a real man is to you. I always find them of great interest and I’m taking notes. A man can never be too prepared or too manly. I also wanna thank you for the photos as well. It’s great to know I’ve got so many hot lookin’ readers.
Se ya next week, amigos.
The Flying Fist Ranch
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