The accompanying press release won’t be written for another 58 months.

The announcement is scheduled for the third month of the year 2007.

The following transmission was intercepted from one of several possible futures.

SILVER BULLET HOSTING AND CREATOR BRANDON THOMAS LAUNCH THE EPONYMOUS BRANDON-THOMAS.COM

The personal website of comic creator Brandon Thomas went live today at: http://www.brandon-thomas.com. The site is meant to offer a unique and comprehensive view at the creative process driving one of the industry’s rising stars.

“When I initially mentioned the possibility of putting together a website for Brandon over an AOL Instant Message over four years…he literally laughed in my face,” said Jason Brice, Editor-in-Chief for SBC and Webmaster of BRANDON-THOMAS.COM. “Strangely, as the young man waded into a burgeoning career as a comic writer, the suggestion became less of a lark, and more of a eventuality. This website has been a long time in coming, and features never-before-seen material from the writer, and is built to serve the fans that wish to travel behind-the-curtain.”

“Jason is much too kind,” says Thomas, “and also neglected to mention that he threatened to cancel my SBC column Ambidextrous if I didn’t stop procrastinating long enough to do this. Seriously though, please feel free to visit and look around as I attempt to make the most of this communication tool we call the world wide web. Brice thinks I should be a gracious host and walk you through the features on-site, informing you along the way of why you should care.

This is Brandon Thomas. Welcome to my shit.”

The Gate:

The strange logo splashed on the black background and spinning along the X-axis loosely equates to the Swahili character meaning “scribe” or “storyteller”. It has been highly stylized by an artist friend of mine, and through the process has likely lost all meaning. Even still, I was so fond of the emblem that it became a tattoo on my left shoulder after graduating college four years ago.

Enter at your own risk and all that other clichéd pretentious nonsense.

The Word:

After accidentally clicking the strange swirling logo, this is where you’ll be deposited. The front page. The intro. The news. The good word. Hell…hopefully it’s good.

It is through this nexus that you will experience the website. The Word will inform you of site updates (hopefully regular ones), and serve as a breeding ground for press and announcements involving my semi-regular profession (and I use that term very loosely) of comic book writer.

If it’s worth knowing…it shall be chronicled in The Word.

The Lab:

Behind-the-scenes shenanigans. Upcoming covers. Preview pages. Script excerpts.

In my personal opinion, the web should be swarming with creators engaged in the shameless art of self-promotion. The internet is a weapon that can be used to draw people into one’s grasp, increasing one’s fan following, page rate, and the likelihood of hearing your editor say “Yes” to that off-the-wall, revolutionary pitch you’ve been waiting to hit him or her with.

If I had a hand in some aspect of the project, expect preview material to elicit salivation until the projected release date.

The Vault:

The hard drive on my computer vomited into this section. If it was written and saved…it’s in the Vault.

We’re talking about scripts I convinced, cajoled, or blackmailed editors into publishing, classic editions of the column that started this nonsense (Ambidextrous-still weekly from SBC, check it out), and something even more frightening…unpublished work.

The samples for Acclaim Comics (Shadowman, Turok, Armorines) are here, the Beast pitch, the lost Captain America stories, and perhaps even those Youngblood pitches I worked up years ago will make an appearance. It is also where you’ll marvel at the unpublished brilliance of original projects like THE CRUCIBLE, the world’s first team of publicly elected superheroes, UTOPIA, a bored hero goes to terrible lengths to make himself relevant again, THE DEFUSERS, scientific investigators that prevent the world’s greatest minds from destroying the planet, SYNDICATE, world domination for the 21st century, RUSH, the boy who didn’t want to save the world, and ONUS, the tale of a friendship that transcended life and death.

Or you’ll chuckle at their inherent basic-ness.

The List:

These are the products of multimedia that are currently captivating one’s eye.

Here you will find the comics and books I’ve been reading, the music that’s bumping in my car, the dope movies I just saw, the DVDs I picked up last week, and the video games I’m struggling through.

This is the testosterone-filled equivalent of Oprah’s Book Club.

The Verse:

Poetry. Written only when inspired.

The Network:

What I’m surfing when I should be working. Links to comic sites, news sites, game sites, entertainment sites, and Audiogalaxy.

The Gallery:

Me fumbling with the digital camera. Plenty of convention shots. People like visuals.

The Serial:

This is the site’s crown jewel. A feature that cannot be found anywhere else. Cue the backstory.

While in high school, I spent several uneventful hours re-imagining myself as a living action figure that carved his way through wild adventures, bad guys, and beautiful women. The Adventures of Quint Black was the result.

Prose for that ass delivered in weekly installments. Get it before Hollywood swoops in and snatches the concept up for a midseason replacement, and demands the end to any and all free previews.

That’s the lay of the land with more new and exclusive content than you imagined was humanly possible. Sooner or later there will also be message boards included, because we all know how fun those can be. Enjoy and buy my stuff. Peace.

Brandon Thomas
Writer of the Good Shit

End of Future Transmission

Afterthoughts and Explanations:

There are a few reasons why I wrote this column five years early. Believe it or not, as of Tuesday afternoon, I had no idea what this week’s installment was going to cover. This occurs more often than I’d care to admit, but upon visiting the site for the twelfth damn time that day, I noticed the flashing banner for Silver Bullet Hosting. This sparked some instantaneous neural connection that caused me to recall a conversation I had months ago with EIC Jason Brice about the possibility of one day obtaining my own website. I really did laugh at him initially, but upon staring transfixed at the flashing banner…I saw a glimpse of the future.

Everything I wanted from a website appeared in the Hit Book, and made its way through heavy revision into this piece. Though somewhat bizarre, highly speculatory, and overly ambitious…I can’t recall seeing anything like it in the realm of the internet column, which forced me to give it a shot.

Another added benefit is the personal kick-in-the-ass this provides. This column starts the imaginary stopwatch to make this thing a reality, and though five years is plenty of time, it’s actually no time at all. The online equivalent of writing myself a postdated check, that I have every intention of cashing.

Now…if you’ll excuse me…there is good shit that needs writing.

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