The Panel gathers movers and shakers from across the industry together to answer your questions!
Don’t miss out on your chance ask the big guns a question or two, send them in now to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Most of the Panellists should be known to you but if not, don’t panic I’ve got a few details on them at the end of the column.
This week’s question comes from Superwimp [who says he can only “dream of greatness”]. The question is:
“The earth is in danger of being obliterated by an alien force, which three superheroes from your chosen universe (DC, Marvel and so on) would you choose to help you save the world and why?”
Devin Grayson: “Alien forces are easy. What’s tricky are times like now, when the earth is in danger of being obliterated by its native force. For an alien invasion, though, assuming I *wanted* to save the world, I’d call Batman, Superman, and Martian Manhunter. I don’t believe I need to explain why.
Another way to go, though, would be to call, say, Vandal Savage, Lex Luthor, and any other world-domination-inclined supervillain. First of all, they’d have just as much at stake (“hey, I’m trying to RULE this damn planet, go play target practice somewhere else!”), and secondly, there’d be the small chance that they’d join the alien forces and then, at the last minute, when they were sure they’d won, give away the entire world-obliteration plan just in time for the heroes — or even Bruce Willis if he had nothing better to do that day — to stop it. What d’ya think? Mini-series? :-)”
Alan Grant: “Batman, because he’s smarter than your average obliterating alien force. Superman, because he’s stronger than your average obliterating alien force (plus, I don’t like him, so if he proved not strong enough I wouldn’t mind seeing his demise). And Lobo, because if we were all doomed to destruction he’d take us out on a merry quip.”
Vince Moore: “To show my complete fanboyness yet to surprise the readers, I will say you really only need one hero to stop this invasion: Black Panther. Shocked? Surprised? Baffled? See, the way the Panther was originally conceived and best portrayed by Christopher Priest, he would be the only one capable of responding to such a threat at a moment’s notice, wielding the most sophisticated technology and best trained army on the face of the planet. The Black Panther would also be the only one to have actually prepared for this invasion ahead of time, probably having full dossiers on the race in question. Armed with the best weapons, including knowledge, The Black Panther and his troops would stop the invasion, maybe even before the rest of the planet had an idea it was in danger. (By the way, Mr. Quesada, if you’re reading this, please see what you can do about getting Priest’s Panther run completely collected. I’ll bet there are tons of people out there who would read it. Fanboy plea mode off.)”
Beau Smith: “The 3 heroes I’d pick would be:
Nick Fury (Not the messed up version we’ve been seein’) Marvel
Wildcat (Ted Grant-JSA) DC Comics
Beau LaDuke-Real Man Eclipse Comics
Why? Well first off, these are three non-super powered men…. not boys. They’ve all been around the block and have seen it all at one point or another.
Yeah, they’re a little frayed around the seams and could use a new coat of paint, but these are men that have seen the best and worst of what can be thrown at this ol’ Earth…and they’re still around makin’ it rough for the bad guys.
They know how to organize and give orders. They know how to bend the rules to get the job done without being a boy scout like Captain America or a flat out psycho like The Punisher.
If there are nutsack aliens on the other side of Earth’s door, are these guys gonna wait for em’ to knock.
They’re gonna kick the door down and do a Mexican hat dance on these Star Wars rejects.
It’s like if this situation were a movie… you really wouldn’t want to depend on that sissy runt Tom Cruise or that cardboard actin’, frat boy Ben Affleck to save your ass would ya?
You’d want John Wayne or Clint Eastwood watchin’ Earth’s back when the laser beams start flyin’.
Just look at the JLA… every month all of those powerful super heroes win by the skin of their teeth. It takes a whole bunch of em’ just to get by. Not my boys. In fact… the three of em’ is almost over kill.
Maybe to make it fair, we can tie one hand behind their back and Beau LaDuke can be drunk… that ought to make it a little more fair.
So there…for a man-sized job, ya get a man. The rest of those super heroes carry too much baggage. A real hero packs light and moves fast. Unless the rest of the panel agrees with me… don’t even bother readin’ their answers.”
Bill Rosemann: “Only one mighty being is needed, my friends: Po Po, the talking monkey! A few minutes under his all-knowing gaze will shame those slimy aliens into a swift retreat… and if that doesn’t do the trick, he’ll just chug some rice wine and kung fu their butts back to the mothership! (Those hungry to soak in the master’s glory can receive monthly doses of wisdom in the pages of Way of the Rat.)”
Alonzo Washington: “Look up in the sky the earth is in trouble this looks like a job for Superman. Superman is the go to superhero and is the thought to be the strongest of them all. Everyone believes Superman could beat the Hulk, Thor, the Thing and all of Marvel’s big guns. So of course I would have to use him. My next guy would be Goku from Dragon Ball Z. He is cool because his powers are always growing. If there is a villain that is stronger than him he just trains until his powers evolves. Sayian, Super Sayian & Super Sayian 3 are his various power levels and with his martial arts skills I truly believe he could kick Superman’s ass. My next guy would be Omega Man because he fights aliens that are trying to destroy the Earth all of the time and his power levels & martial arts skills rivals those of Super Man’s & Goku’s. Moreover, he has to the power to time travel. So he can travel to any time period to find out the impact of any alien’s threat.”
Fiona Avery: “I would take Doc Strange because he can do nigh anything; Magneto because if they comin’ with big ships, there must be metal in there somewhere and I want a mutant who has no qualms about killing; and Oprah because the world’s gonna need the #1 rally diva in order to get through the crisis and there’s no super hero I can think of who beats Oprah for that. She could probably drum up a self-help guru named Dr. Kill on alien invasions and have a book club for resistance fighting.”
Gary Spencer Millidge: “Oh now, let’s see… Do they *have* to superheroes? If not, I’ll make my selection from the Silver Age pre-Crisis DC universe, and the three characters I nominate are:
1. Dumb Bunny from The Inferior Five
2. Angel from Angel and the Ape
3. Cynthia from Swing with Scooter
Because the Earth deserves to be obliterated… and at least they’ll look damn cool *trying* to save it.”
Markisan Naso: “Captain Marvel (Current version) – Genis may be insane but he can pretty much do anything with his powers. Whether it’s destroying a universe or creating life, Sparklehead’s got the juice. Signing Marv to the team also means I get the Rick Jones bonus. Dude knows how to work the ladies. There is no better wingman.
The Hulk – While Marv works up the cosmic mojo, it’s always good to have somebody around to spank the crap out of the invading hordes. Not only is this endlessly entertaining, it’s also practical. No one creates a better diversion than the Hulk. He’s virtually unkillable and he never, ever gets tired of smashing! Once Mean Green is on the loose, Marv is guaranteed all the time in the world to work through his mental issues and zap the alien fiends.
The White Queen – I think my first two team members can handle this impending Earth doom without assistance. But just in case something goes wrong I’d like to have Emma Frost around right before the world ends.??..”
Rob Williams: “I’d send up Blue Beetle and Booster Gold to lure the aliens into a false sense of security, then I’d sic J’onn J’onzz on them. The potential loss of the only planet in the universe to make Oreo cookies would surely see The Martian Manhunter fight in a beserker fury and the aliens wouldn’t stand a chance. And, as a side point, I reckon J’onn J’onzz could take Superman in a drunken bar brawl any day.”
Alan Donald: “That is too easy, far too easy. No superheroes I’m afraid they’re shit. DC Universe: Batman, Ra?s al-Ghul (how’d ya spell that?) and Lex Luthor. If you add on another person I’d add John Constantine, then Vandal Savage and then finally my first superheroes Superman and Green Lantern.
Why Bats, Lex and Ras? They are the smartest, most resourceful and pretty much the most determined individuals on the planet. They are human beings and despite their differences they’d do their damdest to save this world. On top of this the 3 of them have more technology, infrastructure and resources than anyone else.
??and in the Marvel Universe??.
Doom, Reed Richards and?..who knows, either Xavier, Spiderman or Beast. Doom and Richards are no brainers. Superpowers, super brains and super science, mix in Dooms magic and both their recourses! Then the others, the planets most powerful telepath or a couple of super powered, brainy scientists?..sorry I can’t choose!”
Dawn Donald: “Well what a conundrum all these universes and all these heroes, which do I choose? Supes, Bats and Vandal. Xavier, Reed and The Beast. Judges? Dredd, Death and Anderson. Dennis the Mennis, Banana Man, and Desperate Dan. Obi Wan, Luke and Han. Savage Dragon, Spawn and Witchblade. Katchoo, Francine and David. Archie, Betty and Veronica. Po Po, Arwyn and Brath. All these are really good teams but the only ones that would have the brains to beat the ETs are Gil Grissom, Horatio Caine, and Vic Mackey. Now there’s a trio for you: two guys with incredible brains and intuition, one with brains and lots of brawn. Also the facilities and people they have at their disposal. They would send those aliens packing and if the y did manage to take over the earth then they would be some of the best people to lead the resistance. For those of you who are not sure of whom I speak then check out IDW’s range of comic books.”
This Week’s Panel: We welcome two new panellists this week for your entertainment, please give them a very big welcome so they will keep coming back! Beau Smith (Beau has been working in comics for 18 years and has played in most of the major players in the industry. He currently kicks around with those folks at IDW and us nice folks at SBC on his column Busted Knuckles); Rob Williams (writer of the excellent cla$$war for Com.X, Family for Rebellion and many other series in the pipeline); Fiona Avery (says that she plays in the Marvel Universe, and with Wildstorm at DC and is also the creator of No Honor); Alonzo Washington (is not only the creator of Omega Man but he is also a noted black rights campaigner); Alan Grant (look, do I really have to introduce Alan frickin’ Grant? The guy is beyond legendary he wrote Batman and Lobo for years, heck some of the best Judge Dredd stories that weren’t written by John Wagner were done either by Alan on his own or with him! It’s Alan Grant for goodness sake!); Bill Rosemann (Bill started his career with those nice people at Marvel and is now with those very nice people at CrossGen and is their head of publishing); Devin Grayson (Devin writes stuff, she is really rather good to be frank, check out Nightwing if you don’t believe me); Vince Moore (Vince’s work for Platinum Studios can be checked out via the link on his name above); Gary Spencer Millidge (created and self-published the excellent Strangehaven for donkey’s years now. This guy has fans buying tickets to UK conventions just to pick up the latest issue of his books (or to bug the hell out of him about their progress)); Markisan Naso (Markisan hunts down rumours for your delectation on ATR and also is one of SBC’s resident newshounds); Alan and Dawn Donald (we’re not interesting piss off and leave us alone).?
Next Week’s Question: To link our excellent anniversary with another major landmark the question will be “Cerebus #300. March 2004. A testament to one man’s vision? A landmark for comics? Just another book?”