Writer: Jeph Loeb
Artist: Rob Liefeld
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Yes, Marvel is still making this. Yes, it still sucks.
Captain America and Iron Man fight each other until they both fall down. Hawkeye, a.k.a. Wolverine, talks to the unconscious Cap about how stopping Onslaught means killing him. Reed Richards makes a Back to the Future reference while examining Don Blake. Then Namor shows up explaining how Thorís double identity works, because Atlantis believes in gods. Meanwhile, Invisible Woman, Ant-Man, and Vision fight the Masters of Evil for about 10 seconds. Then the Masters realize theyíre the frigginí Masters of Evil and smack them down. Then the men show up to hear Loki declare Franklin Richards must die for their universe to survive. And Reed tearfully agrees.
I swear I am not exaggerating. Everything happens exactly as how I describe it.
This is one of those rare times when the writing is worse than Liefeldís art. And the artís as bad as ever. It looks more like posing than actual action. Thereís no sense of motion from panel to panel. People look like they were sculpted from hamburger. All the women look alike, especially in a split panel that shows half of the Scarlet Witchís face and half of the Enchantressí. And thereís only one panel in the entire comic where Reedís mouth isnít wide open. And itís still more appealing than the story!
I havenít read everything Jeph Loebís written, but I can safely declare this to be the worst comic heís ever made. And Iíve read his Heroes Reborn: Captain America series. The endless teasing about Hawkeyeís identity when we all realized he was Wolverine in issue #3; The dialogue that makes you say ďWTF?Ē every five minutes; All of Ant-Manís sentences lifted straight from 80ís movies and TV shows. But the thing that drove this book down to the 1 bullet rating was Reed suggesting his son must die.
Just a reminder, Jeph Loeb, who lost his own son last year, who pledged proceeds from this comic would go to a charity founded in his sonís name, has written a scene where a father suggests his son must be killed.
I really have nothing else to say about that.
So why am I buying this comic? Why did I continue to buy it when it passed the point of no return in issue #2? Why did I commit to this series before it even launched? Because of Onslaught. I like that villain. I like the idea of a monstrous creature of pure mental energy. Scott Lobdell said he conceived Onslaught to be the kind of cosmic-level threat the X-Men havenít faced since the Dark Phoenix. And a being of pure mental energy that can warp reality at its most powerful and possess people at his least? Yeah, thatís a real challenge. Especially if the only way to defeat him is if someone dies. Think about it: Marvelís non-mutant heroes appeared to die defeating him the first time. (Stupid plan, but thatís another story.) If someone else dies at the end of this story, it sets up a scary pattern. Onslaught could be the one villain no one can defeat without dying. And thatís the kind of unforgivable, unstoppable, unimaginable evil Iíd like to see running loose in a comic book universe! If Onslaught Reborn brings Onslaught back into the Marvel Universe, it will almost be worth sitting through this garbage.
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