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Home
Columns
Busted Knuckles

Cast Your Vote for the President’s Vampire!

Beau Smith
March 1, 2011
Busted Knuckles, Columns

Last year in Busted Knuckles, I told you about a book that you needed to buy, beg, borrow or steal a book called Blood Oath by Christopher Farnsworth It’s an amazing book about a vampire that’s been the personal Secret Service guarding United States presidents for 140 years. The Vampire’s name is Nathaniel Cade and he’s assisted by a government assigned agent/handler named Zach Barrows. They have adventures like you’ve never read about before.

As I’ve mentioned before, Cade is not your typical GQ, Twilight, Gothic Teen Angst kinda vampire. He’s also not your grandfather’s Dracula with the cape and Eurotrash accent. Cade is more like Jack Bauer from TV’s24, if Jack happened to be a vampire. When Cade goes on a tear, he really goes on a tear.

This week I have great news, April 28th is the on sale date for the latest adventures of Cade in The President’s Vampire by Christopher Farnsworth. Stop right now and put this book on your pre-order list, write it down in your notebook, on your iPad, iPhone or your iSelf. You have to read this book because it has everything any fan of pop culture entertainment will love. I mean that. Never has an author been able to appease every aspect of my pop culture needs rolled up into 335 pages of action, horror, drama, suspense, adventure, humor, witty dialogue, sex, romance and touch on all things that make fiction great. 


The only thing Blood Oath and The President’s Vampire will leave you wanting…is more!

In The President’s Vampire, Cade finds himself squared off against Osama Bin Laden in the first five pages of the book. By page six you’ll find out why no one has been able to capture Bin Laden yet. That’s just the beginning – the rest of the story involves a powerful bad guy with a much layered past, one that is interwoven in the very fabric of our country, it’s up to Cade to unravel his evil and expose it to the world.

Christopher Farnsworth touches on a lot of things that we are dealing with in the world right now and pulls them into the shadow world where monsters and very bad things go bump in the night. There’s a twist on the world of private contractors, who become monsters that truly put the word terror into terrorists. 

You’ll find a special breed of monsters that will remind you of the Creature From The Black Lagoon if it were in the movie Jaws. There’s vampire sex, human sex, double crossing, and crosses that vampires turn away from. Most of all there are characters that are written to entertain you. You want to read the words coming out of their mouths, as a writer the dialogue makes me say out loud “I wish I’d written that!” 

Farnsworth’s writing takes a page from the TV show Lost in the fact that he makes you care about the characters then puts them in incredible situations that have you dashing to turn the next page. The action and description of action is truly full throttle and broken bone fun. 


Plus, when you get to Page 193 of the book, there’s a character that shows up that you may just find strangely familiar….Just sayin’….

March 1st is the paperback publication date of Blood Oath. If you’ve been waiting for a more conveniently-sized package of vampire mayhem, then this is the edition for you.

Not only does it include all the sex, violence and monsters of the hardback, but there’s a special sneak preview of Book Two in the series, The President’s Vampire, which answers the question: whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?

You can purchase the book by clicking any of these links:
Amazon 
Barnes & Noble 
Borders
Indiebound 

If you email or facebook Christopher Farnsworth a copy of your receipt, or order confirmation, or a photo of you with your copy, he will mail you a special commemorative signed bookplate at no extra charge. 

But wait, mis amigos, there’s more. As special bonus for those of you who have already purchased the hardback, here is a link to the story of the first meeting between Cade and Johann Konrad. 

Those of you regular “Knuckleheads” know that I never steer you and your wallet down the unwanted path, especially when it comes to books. Once you dig into Christopher Farnsworth’s books you’ll shout: 

“When will there be a Cade movie??”
“Why isn’t there a Cade comic book or graphic novel??”
“Why hasn’t some comic book publisher put Christopher Farnsworth to work writing a lot of comic books??”

It’s gotta happen my friends. We demand it.

As your friend, I don’t want you to miss out on Blood Oath or The President’s Vampire. Both books have wide ranges of appeal and they are home runs. 

The President’s Vampire is a paranormal piñata that once busted open, will shower you with all kinds of blood soaked entertainment. 
HRLINE
Captain Action Winter Special

Now your chance to say goodbye to winter by picking up Captain Action Winter Special from Moonstone. 

This book contains the story I’ve been telling you about for the last couple of weeks, “White Lies” by myself and Eduardo Barreto. Eduardo and I get to follow up our previous “Classified Captain Action” (Captain Action #4) story with this one that features a trip back to the 1960s. It’s in that decade that we pit Captain Action against a beautiful, double crossing French spy, a huge Russian enforcer and a Communist-controlled Yeti as they all fight over control of the mysterious Olmsted’s Orb. There have already been some reviews posted up on the book:

http://www.terbooz.com/19126-captain-action-winter-special

http://comics.gearlive.com/comix411/article/q308-captain-action-winter-special

http://playeraffinity.com/comic-reviews/captain-action-wi
nter-special-review.html

http://thepullbox.com/2011/02/27/good-n-pulpy-captain-action-green-hornet-winter-special

So run right out to your local comic book source and ask them if they have Captain Action Winter SpecialYet(i)?


HRLINE
Busted Knuckles Manly Cover of the Week: Sledge Hammer #1
Marvel Comics 
February 1988
Cover by Alex Saviuk & Bob McLeod

Sledge Hammer was a very fun TV show from the late 1980s that was under-rated and even today is still a bunch of fun. It was a parody of the Clint Eastwood/Dirty Harry films and was done to perfection. If you get the chance to catch it on reruns or DVD, then do so. It’s worth your time. In 1988, Marvel Comics did a comic book version of Sledge Hammer. You really got a lot of story for 22 pages. Look for it as well.


HRLINE
Busted Knuckles Babe of the Week: Jill Flint
Actress

Jill Flint is a very fine actress that appears to be able to play most any part. She’s done well with serious drama, light comedy and is pretty engaging when she’s on a talk show. She fits perfectly on the USA Network show Royal Pains, an enjoyable show that makes evening TV stress free.

I’m sure we’ll see much more of her in the future in films and other TV series. Jill Flint is risk free and easy on the eyeballs.




HRLINE
The Roundup

When it comes to guns, everybody has strong thoughts one way or another. Not very often have I found folks that walk the middle of the road on firearms. I guess it’s what you’d call a “Hot Topic” these days. 

I’m not here to get into a debate on guns. I grew up with guns. My grandfather carried one every day, as did my dad. They weren’t in law enforcement. My grandfather owned Smith Music Company, which sold pinball machines, juke boxes, pool tables, skill games, and – when my dad and uncle took it over – also went into video games. My grandfather came from a time when you really didn’t have to have a permit to carry a gun. Most of the time, he knew the police, state troopers and such. The same was true with my dad. They knew that my dad and grandfather had to check “Locations.” – places where they had their machines, bars, taverns, dives as well as family places, drug stores, etc. 

My family was “On Call” at nights, meaning that if a machine broke down or a location needed change for the machines, someone in my family would go and fix the machine, bring them change, whatever they may need. That sometimes meant going out into deep country to bars where there are more fields than buildings. Folks drink in bars – some more than others – so they tend to get a little high-spirited. 

When my grandfather or my dad would leave at 10:00 at night to take care of one of these Locations, especially on a Friday or Saturday night, things could get a bit rowdy. So picture them in one of these locations. The customers, some drunk, would say “Hey, juke box man, put some Conway Twitty on that machine!” That request was always the easy part. Dad would fulfill that request and then punch up about 10 free songs as a courtesy. That was good for business. We would also empty the machine while we were there, and give the bar owner their split. Dad always carried a good amount of money with him to transact any business that may be needed at the location. Most folks knew this. Some, of less morals and more beer intake, would sometimes get the idea to liberate some of that money from “the juke box man.” 

That’s why Dad and my grandfather always carried a gun. 

Usually there was a pistol on their person. Grandfather favored a hammerless .32 Smith & Wesson revolver, which was easy to get out of his pocket. Dad was prone to lean for more firepower and variety. From time to time, he would carry a Smith & Wesson .38 with a four inch barrel, or a Walther .380, because James Bond had one. He had a Colt Diamondback .38, for a while in the mid-‘70s he carried a big ass Colt .357 Python with a six inch barrel for the Starsky & Hutch era. Finally he settled on a Colt .38 Agent snub nose. I think the snubby ended up being his favorite for power and handling. 

In the trunk they always had a Remington 12 gauge pump. Both my grandfather and my dad carried a “SlapJack” or as some call it a “BlackJack” and a billy club or “Thumper” as it was called. In reality the SlapJack and the club were what they had to use the most. Yeah, there was a time or two when they had to fire a gun in a warning shot when outnumbered, but those times were rare. (At least that’s what dad told mom.) The SlapJack and the Thumper were used on more than a few occasions. 

I have both of them and you can tell by the looks that they were carried and used a lot. Every now and then, Dad would tell me of some of the “dust ups” that went on when a drunk decided that Smith Music Company didn’t need all that money. He always said that the best way to end such a situation before it became an “unhappy moment” was to end it quickly. That meant when the threat was in mid-sentence, the SlapJack or the Thumper was introduced to the drunk’s – not all were drunk, some were just mean and criminal – knee, head, nose or throat. That usually ended things. Dad was over six feet tall and went around 250 pounds, hence the nickname “Big Rog.” He could always use his size as well. My grandfather was the same height and weighed a very fit 180. He did 100 push-ups and 100 sit ups every day all his life just as sure as he wore a tie and a fedora, funny how as a kid you remember those things. My grandfather had a nickname as well; it was “Mr. Smith.”

Yeah, those were different times. Things were different from 1947 through 1970s. I’m not saying they were better, worse, right or wrong, just different. 

So yes, I’ve been around guns all my life. I was taught to respect them and that drinking and guns do not mix well. I sold guns when I was going to college, I’ve hunted, but not in a good 25 years. I loved being out, tracking and scouting, but my interest in the kill petered out after a while. I was good-to-go knowing I tracked and saw them. I have no problem with my buddies that still hunt. I think most folks should know how to do it. 


I turned my admiration of guns more towards the target range and honing my skills there. I’ve always been interested in the workings and mechanics of weapons. I love older guns that have a story behind them. I enjoy a revolver and its simplicity. Military weapons always have a tech side that I find of interest. 

I’m not a gun snob like some people. Like my friends, I like something that’s good and dependable. Something you can always rely on. I have some high-end weapons – Smith & Wesson, Remington, Colt, Ruger, and I also have my share of inexpensive and old military guns that work well without fail. One of those inexpensive weapons is a USA made .45 automatic pistol made in Ohio by Hi-Point Firearms. 

It is a beast! By that I mean it‘s big, not real pretty and has never jammed or caused me any sort of problem. As you can see by the photo of me and the pistol, we’re both kinda ugly. My friends that have seen it in action always curl their lip up when they first see this Sasquatch of a gun, but after I fire it a few times, it’s not long before they want to try it and that curl of the lip quickly becomes a smile. When I tell them I only paid $189.00 for it brand new, well, I can see that they are starting to consider it in their collection right away. 

The owner of Hi-Point Firearms wanted to make guns for the everyman, a blue collar line of pistols and carbines that a regular working guy could buy and be very happy with. Please note, this is not an ad for guns or Hi-Point, just my thoughts and opinions like Busted Knuckles always is. Mostly I talk about comics, TV, films and pop culture; other times, like today, I talk about me. (Wait a minute, I always talk about ME!)

The Roundup section is just my part of Busted Knuckles where I share a bit of me with you (Some of you may say force me on you…) As I said before, guns are a hot topic these days, and everyone has their good and their bad stories when it comes to guns. What’s important is that the owner has respect for the gun and for themselves in knowing how to handle it and how to use it in a world where we live with other folks. 

Okay, I’ve bent your ear far too long. I’ll see you next time.

Your amigo,

Beau Smith
The Flying Fist Ranch

 

Beau SmithBusted Knuckles

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<a href="https://comicsbulletin.com/byline/beau-smith/" rel="tag">Beau Smith</a>
Beau Smith

Beau Smith is a writer for Comics Bulletin

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