Writers: Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning
Artits: Sean Chen(p), Scott Hanna(i),Guru eFX(c)
Good, God. Nova was just soooooooooooo much fun.
Nova comes home, and finds his parents far from welcoming. At first they thought he was dead. Then they thought he was lost in space, but rather than cheerfully hug their son, rather than be pleased to see that he's just fine, the couple deteriorate on the most pleasurable of all issues Marvel currently prostitutes--The Civil War. Yay!
Oh, Marvel, I just never, ever tire of how much you beat this Big Stupid Event to death. Was Stamford "tragic," like Nova's mom believes, or was it "obscene" like Nova's father believes? Why without The Civil War there would be no drama at all. Seriously. That fellow Shakespeare? Total rubbish. The Civil War should win a Tony.
Why it did!
Nova detects something other than a domestic disturbance. He opens the door to find Iron Man threatening his buttocks. Nova gets an invite to The Werhmacht, and the Tin Fascist--"call me Tony"--gives Nova a registration ultimatum. Nova only thinks he has a choice, but the comic book reading community know better. There is only one choice. Uber alles, or else.
Hell, you can even give away your name like Spider-Man did, and you'll still be hunted down and treated like a criminal by "call me Tony." Oh, and I just love it, just found it so entertaining how Nova and "call me Tony" joke about Spider-Man being Peter Parker. After "call me Tony" essentially engaged some accoutrements on his codpiece bent Spidey over and screwed him royally, he jokes about Spidey's silly, silly former secret identity. "Call me Tony" how you make me laugh and laugh.
Can this book get any better? Can it possibly be even jollier? Why of course! To schmooze Nova to the side of the Tin Fascist Party, "call me Tony" gets Nova's former lover Namorita to win him over. What? She's dead? Right. "Tragic" or "obscene." It all depends on one's outlook.
The New Warriors are dead, except, oh, god, thank, god, he made it out alive. Justice is back, folks. That's right. Vance Astro Jr. The least drippy, least milksoupiest super-hero there is. The manly, virile Justice tries to convince Nova to join the winning team. Call him a metrosexual super-hero. I dare you.
Under the pretense of actually letting Nova think over whether or not to register, "call me Tony" lets Nova go back to earth. The Xandar Worldmind convinces Nova to get some shut-eye but then goes walkabouts to unwittingly disturb Nova's father who remembering the chap named Shakespeare quotes Hamlet:
"I don't know what you are anymore!"
Act Five. Scene Five. What you don't remember that from Hamlet? Shame on you. It's right up there with "To be, or not to be..."
Nova's quality drops a bit when Diamondhead makes a surprise guest appearance, but the ebullience skyrockets up the fun meter when you see that artist Sean Chen has altered Diamondhead's classic flat-top look, crafted by Sal Buscema. He now looks like a shiny Metalunan. Diamondhead doesn't last long against this powerhouse version of Nova, and the brevity of the fight brought to a realistic standard by Sean Chen just makes one want to literally sing the praises of this book. Tears came to my eyes when Nova blasts off Diamondhead's hand.
At this point, I said to myself if Marvel has a gratuitous guest appearance by Venom, this book will get my ultra-cool, fun-grade for the funnest book of the whole god-damned fun century. And there he is! Slobbering among the Civil War Initiative Group The Thunderbolts!
Well, congratulations Nova. Keep this up, and I just won't be able to keep you on the subscription list. Belly-laughs can be lethal, you know.
What did you think of this book?
Have your say at the Line of Fire Forum!