Even before it was officially announced, the new Fantastic Four movie has been causing quite a stir. A much younger cast? A black Human Torch? Using the Ultimate Fantastic Four stories as reference? Frankly, I don’t care about any of that. It’s the fact that this new film will ignore these ten important truths that has me in an uproar.
The Thing’s true origins…
Reed Richard’s true talent—woodworking!
Johnny Storm’s true talent—rapping! (and yes, this is absolutely real)
The true producer responsible for this reboot—Namor.
The true face of Doctor Doom… (pick one)
The team’s true origins…
The true story behind the character’s codenames…
The team’s true arch-nemesis…
The truth behind Johnny Storm’s flameless, temporary replacement, H.E.R.B.I.E…
The true motivation behind the group’s gathering and first failed mission…
